HomeContact UsSearchLinksBluering LibraryGear Gadgets Gossip
Main Menu
Home
Contact Us
Search
Links
Bluering Library
Gear Gadgets Gossip
Artists
The Krusty Cowboy Klub
The Holy Men
The Cats Pyjamas
Double Wammy
pan!c
Blues Avenue Trio
The Grouse
Fat ELVISES
Wingnut
My Shopping Cart
VirtueMart
Your Cart is currently empty.

Home
Let it swing! Print E-mail
Sunday, 26 April 2009

DO YOUR BALLS SWING LOW...


Sample Image .... Can you tie 'em in a knot; can you tie 'em in a bow? Well, if you get your rubber legs and your flailing arms down to the Wheatsheaf Hotel at Thebarton on Wednesday April 29, you will get the opportunity to discover how the many and various pendulous parts of your body swing because Blues Avenue - that stomping, shouting mighty-good swing band featuring James Meston and The Preacher Denis Surmon - will be beating you daddy - and mummy (no discrimination when it comes to this kind of beating) - 8 to the bar!    Excuse me while a take a breath; that was a very long sentence. I could have used more punctuation to break it up but I have overshsot my punctuation quota for the month. I get 5 dogabytes or something on the current plan. I am trying to get punctuation on broadband but the telstra guy is still laying the cable in our street.

You can do what you will with that.

Now, where was I...?  I was Swinging the Blues at the Wheatsheaf Hotel on Wednesday night April 29, that's where I was! And I want you to be there too. We - Blues Avenue -  have been fortunate and honoured   to have teamed up with The Swing Sesh Dance School , led by Chris Harm and Meral Nieman who know the real reason why Lindy Hopped ... and why the Balboa isn't Rocky ----it's because it SWINGS!   I am seriously going to have to quit before I write something stupid so if you want to find out why Lindy Hopped get down to the Wheatie and ask her yourself!

Anyway.... Folks - it's free. Abso-fukken-lootely free. And you can't get cheaper than that for a night's entertainment and wild dancing. And if you think you can, come along to the Wheatie this Wednesday and tell me. I'd love to hear about it, truly, I would, (Like fuck, I would!)  BIg Finish: get ready to  Swing Out At the Wheatie.... Blues Avenue kicks off around 8pm or whenever The Preacher manages to sort out the PA.    Swing  'em High at the  Wheatie, Wednesdy April Twenny nine!

Sample Image
 
 
pan!c and Grouse rock the house but Swing's the thing Print E-mail
Sunday, 19 April 2009

Sample ImageWhile things seem quiet and dull in these dire days of recession, depresion and obsession - obsession with recession and depression that is - at the end of the dark and dreary tunnel there is a little light. Yes, a little light of hope. And fun. And maybe even a smile and a pink tongue to lick away the bitter- sweet tears of emotional turmoil that have trickled and tickled down your sad cheeks and into the  care-worn creases of your .... fuck this. Now I'm getting depressed.  So, to beat these depression blues I will be hauling my cellulite-dimpled fat arse along to the Daniel O'connell Hotel in North Adelaide this Saturday April 25 to have gut-wobbling fun with pan!c, the pop three-some that lets you fiddle with all holes. Did I just say that? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to see someone about that. But not till after I've carried on like an unregistered dog on Saturday Night, April 25, with pan!c at the Daniel O'connell Hotel.

 

 

Sample Image Sunday April 26 is another thing altogether. Nursing a bilious hangover and a hairy, prickly bag of guilt, i will make my sorry way to the Emu Hotel at MorphettVale where I will sample the fine musical offerings the Grouse has ready to serve up.  Redemption is but a pint of beer away. Maybe two or even three pints but what does it matter? Who's counting?  Well, the cops are, of course. They are counting on you being as full as Myf Warhurst's bra and trying to drive your car one-eyed and legless. So... drink responsibly when you attend a Grouse gig. Tip evey third drink into your handbag or wallet and enjoy it later when you're safe at home.   Live music starts around 7.30 pm and rocks till 11.30.

 

DO YOUR BALLS SWING LOW...

 Sample ImageCan you tie 'em in a knot; can you tie 'em in a bow? Well, if you get your rubber legs and your flailing arms down to the Wheatsheaf Hotel at Thebarton on Wednesday April 29, you will get the opportunity to discover how the many and various pendulous parts of your body swing because Blues Avenue - that stomping, shouting mighty-good swing band featuring James Meston and The Preacher Denis Surmon - will be beating you daddy - and mummy (no discrimination when it comes to this kind of beating) - 8 to the bar!    Excuse me while a take a breath; that was a very long sentence. I could have used more punctuation to break it up but I have overshsot my punctuation quota for the month. I get 5 dogabytes or something on the current plan. I am trying to get punctuation on broadband but the telstra guy is still laying the cable in our street.

I've left that one for you. I set it up, but I'm not going to touch it.

Now, where was I...?  I was Swinging the Blues at the Wheatsheaf Hotel on Wednesday night April 29, that's where I was! And I want you to be there too. We - Blues Avenue -  have been fortunate and honoured   to have teamed up with The Swing Sesh Dance School, led by Chris Harm and Meral Nieman who know the real reasons why Lindy Hopped and why the Balboa isn't Rocky ----it's because it SWINGS!   I am seriously going to have to quit before I write something stupid.

Anyway.... Folks - it's free. Abso-fukken-lootely free. And you can't get cheaper than that for a night's entertainment and wild dancing. And if you think you can, come along to the Wheatie next Wednesday and tell me about it. I'd love to hear it, truly, I would, (Like fuck, I would!)  BIg Finish:    Blues Avenue kicks off around 8pm or whenever The Preacher manages to sort out the PA.    Swing  'em High at the  Wheatie, Wednesdy April Twenny noine!

 

 
Have a Grouse Easter Print E-mail
Monday, 06 April 2009

Easter Time - Bah! and Humbug! Hang on a minute... that goes with some other Christian festival. Try again: Easter Time .... whoopty-fukken-doo! I caught a rabbit nibbling a bunch of rockmelons in my garden this morning so I pounced on the little turd and was about to snap his C4 verterbra when he yelled out "No! Stop!".  "What the..." thought I.    "Please dont throw me in the briar patch," the skanky rodent whined. "I won't," I said, nicely. "I'm gonna wring your fukken neck!"   "No!" Squealed my captive, "... for I am the Easter Bunny."   "Bullshit!"    "Nah! I really am," replied the hairy little scruff. "Prove it. Now!" I demanded. "OK. Put me in a nice warm and cuddly basket and I will lay you some Easter eggs."

I didn't have a nice warm and cuddly basket so I settled him on the end of the bed left him in peace. I came back an hour later to find the little arsehole had covered the bed with a couple of hundred greasy, stinky rabbit tods. 

Still, I all turned out well. I found an excellent recipe for roast rabbit with olives on the internet. And with winter now approaching at the speed of an Adelaide train, I am fashioning myself a pair of snuggly Sample Imagerabbit-skin mittens. They won't be ready in time to wear them at Finn McCool's on Easter Saturday to see the Grouse in action with Craig "Maximum Intensity" Rodda on the drum stool but the music will be so hot and rocking that gloves won't be needed  - rabbit or rubber!  Live music starts at 9  pm; be there to see Mr Stuart "Daisy" Day remove the prophylactic and ride his guitar bareback and screaming! The Preacher will do what he usually does: drop silent smelly farts and hope the drummer gets the blame. See you there.

By the way, I stuck one of the rabbits eyeballs on the end of the pencil I am using to write this crap - before you say anything it's a special "Internetty" type of pencil and If you haven't got one then you're obvioulsy not an early uptaker of cutting edge technology - anyway,  it's on the end of my pencil and although it doesn't erase as well as the backspace button it does make a nice bouncy-bounce sound when you tap it on your teeth while you have a little think. 

And I found a use for his little arsehole - it's a scrunchy for the tuft of hairs growing out of that big mole on my back. All neat and sweet back there now. 

 
<< Start < Prev 21 22 23 24 Next > End >>

Results 261 - 273 of 304
 
© 2017 Blue Ring Records
Joomla! is Free Software released under the GNU/GPL License.