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If you got here because of the headline - sorry... I just made it up to reel 'em in; nobody would use sidecutters for a circumcision - the Sidecutters is a band! Anyway, tin snips is better for trimming a jewish kilt - although pinking shears gives a nice effect. Hang on a sec...don't go away. Now that you're here, I have a little something for you to try when you get a moment: put a pinky in each nostril – at the same time. It’s really weird but the weirdest part is that it makes it really hard to actually go coal mining with them - at the same time. Comfortably.
When you’ve done that, you can have a look at the gig guide for Adelaide this first weekending in December.  Saturday December 5 you won’t be able to see the Grouse because we’re doing a private show for the Prospectors. Big Jim Meston will be on lead guitar (on loan from Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers) and the Grouse boys will be rocking like a Kombi van at a love-in. The Prospectors is a great idea that could be replicated by other interested parties - it is a social club comprising residents of Prospect, former and current. I can just imagine the Norwoodies; the Woodcrofters; the Seacliffhangers; the Mt Barker Eggs; The Hack-hamsters; the Malvern Stars ( ho fukken ho); the Marionettes, the Peterheadjobs... I'd better stop before I go one too far.
 Sunday December 6 is the day to take a drive to Mick O’Shea’s, down South Road at Hackham to spend an afternoon with the Sidecutters. Hear and see, maybe even feel the double bass, acoustic guitar and come-hither vocals of Mike Hill accompanied by the come-slither whining of the Preacher. Good food at Micko’s; good beer and Guinness, great outdoor area. Come on… It’ll get you out of the house for a few hours. 2pm till 6pm. Home in time for Sunday snuggly-wuggly. Or a poke, if you're lucky. Also on Sunday December 6, at the Wine Underground or, if you are a faux Hun, Der Vin Untdergrund, is the Harmonics, or: der Hamoniks. Doors open at 4 pm. (Der knockenundenterin iss flappen acht der vier der ticketty-tokken int der sekond haff uv der sunschiny bit). 
 Is anyone hungry? If you feel like a snack here's a photo of some sausages. These snags are looking pretty good so I'd get in now before they get burnt. I can get you a photo of some tomato sauce or mustard if you like. Just let me know, by email. I've got a photo of some onions, too, but I didn't put it up here because they give some people the botty-burps.
In other news: Amber Joy Poulton has won the SA Achiever Award and also picked up the APRA  Traditional Country Song of the Year Award with Good Old Fashioned Days, from her recent CD release, Taking Goodbye. Not a bad result for the diva who attended the SA Country Music Awards night Saturday, November 28, at the Starplex Theatre to receive her accolades in person. Next for Amber and the Holy Men is another gig at the Lighthouse Hotel, Port Adelaide on Sunday December 13 but before that is a Christmas Special at the Two Wells RSL on Friday December 11. Show includes a display of Rock and Roll dancing.
Contact the RSL for more details: Tony Flaherty 0412 773 111; e-mail:
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Two Wells RSL OFFICE PHONE: (08) 8520 2826 To learn a bit more about Amber Joy, get onto MySpace/Amber Poulton (Here is the link ), to learn almost nothing more, log onto: http://blueringrecords.com/content/view/68/56/ GIGS GALORE!!!  Thursday, December 10 you will be able to experience the most fukken bizarre cross-dressing experiment when Blues meets Hip Hop with Sweet Baby James & Rob Eyers at the Exeter on Rundle. I don’t know what these guys are on but it’s gotta be bigger than a Vespa. With panniers! Highly successful pairing of retro and neo rascal music is not to be missed. Prizes in the offing for anyone who can beat "Blipop" as a name for this new,totally mashed up, re-deconstructed musical vibe. Ther.. that filled up a bit of space.  Friday December 18 is time to get a rigorous Christmas butt-slapping with "Spank You Very Much at the Gov." More fun than a popcorn enema, Spank You Very Much, could bring a smile to Malcolm Turnbull’s dial – if Mal could smile at anything other than his money. So … the first link you need is Moshtix: http://www.moshtix.com.au/Event.aspx?id=29306&pLock=&vip=&skin=&ref=
Then facebook: Try this: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=136159037674
And the Gov: http://www.thegov.com.au/gig-guide.html
 Sunday 20th Decemeber Hoy-Hoy! Will be blowing down the walls of the Brahma Lodge Hotel. Check out Hoy-Hoy! Here: http://hoyhoymusic.com/ and treat yourself to the band’s new Birthday celebration DVD.
 On the same day, Sunday December 20, Double Wammy will be at the Christmas Special at the Wine Underground. Don’t expect Santa to come down the chimney for that event, he’s had a bad vasectomy and pretty mad about it so he’s crapping down chimneys this year. And doing widdles in them satellite dish things.
LOOKING AHEAD
1st january (2010) will see Hoy-Hoy rocking at the Semaphore Workers Club
And the 1st of January also sees Warp Factor 3 at the Norwood Hotel. By the way... did you try putting two pinkies in your nose? No? Oh well, try this then: have a go at biting the back of your neck. |
Saturday November 28: pan!c at the Daniel O'Connell (North Adelaide). You know it will always be fun with pan!c at the Dan. Those guys are sillier than an Emissions Trading Scheme only cheaper! That’s right… beer prices will not go up when pan!c sets in. pan!c starts at 9 pm. I dont like the sound of "emissions trading" I'm not sure what you can swap for a handful of pearl jam. Still... what would I know, I'm not much of a business person. 
Sunday November 29 Walking The Line at the Gawler Muster. Sunset set for Walking The Line – Australia’s Number One Johnny Cash Show. See and hear Rohan Powell and the Walking The Line band along with Amber Joy as June Carter Cash as they dish up many of the Man in Black's - and indeed the long-suffering, garrulous wife of the Man in Black's - best known songs. 
Sunday November 29 Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers at the Rob Roy Hotel (Adelaide). About 4pm The darlings of the blues scene step up to the mike, James pulls out his…. his… wait for it…. his…guitar slide and then he waggles his dick it the air! And clamps a car battery to his nutbag and starts a-swinging! Or maybe that was last week. I think this week he’s giving his scrotum a rest. Maybe this is the week Rob glues the castanets on his bum cheeks and … no, I think that was the week before. Ok... might be a bit of a tame show on Sunday.