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Fringe au-gogo! Print E-mail
Friday, 14 February 2014

 Pastor Cash & his Ministry Of Money Revival Show launches on Saturday February 15.

Sample ImageIngot we Trust presents A New and Original  SA music/theatre production at the Prospect Town Hall. See below for show dates and times and clik the link for tickets/bookings

Preview Sat 15th Feb @ 4 pm

Opening Nite15th Feb @ 8pm

Sunday 16th Feb @ 4pm
Thursday 20th Feb @ 8pm
Friday 21st Feb @ 7.30pm
Saturday 22nd Feb @ 9pm
Sunday 23rd Feb @ 6pm
Tuesday 25th Feb @ 8pm
Friday 28th Feb @ 7.30pm
Sunday 2nd Mar @ 4pm
Friday 7th Mar @ 8pm
Friday 14th Mar @8p

For Tickets and info go here:
  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/pastor-cash-and-his-ministry-of-money-revival-show/1c2659a5-f855-40d2-99b5-febd0ea8161a


Let it Roll presents: the Soul of Rhythm & Blues at the Prospect Town Hall

Sample ImageAdelaide’s own award winning masters of Rhythm & Blues, LET IT ROLL combine forces with Australia’s queen of blues and soul GAIL PAGE (“The Voice” & winner of 3 Chain Blues Awards) and LIZ STOCCO, to present a powerhouse 90-minute show paying homage to the legends of Rhythm & Blues and Soul Music

Show Times & Dates:
Friday 21st Feb @ 9pm
Sat 22nd Feb @ 3pm
Sat 22nd Feb @ 7pm
Sun 23rd Feb @ 3pm

Go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/the-soul-of-rhythm-and-blues/3e5a4ca7-f2a2-4116-8637-d57b9107661e

Sample ImageThursday, February 20 SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS (7pm-10pm) - FREE at the Gilbert Street Hotel, Adelaide


Sunday, February 23, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the Old Clarendon Inn, Clarendon

Go for dinner or just a snack - the Clarendon Inn offers a range of special dishes, tapas as well as a selection of 'classics'. Then there's the pizza! Very good pizza.  And there's plenty of great entertainment coming up this month; get on the mailing list to find out what's on next: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
 
 
 

THE TEXETTES ONE SHOW ONLY Sun Feb 23 @ The PROSPECT TOWN HALL

Sample ImageFor more than a decade the Texettes have written, recorded and toured their original style of Roots music to a growing band of eager supporters. The Texettes were mostly Terry and Helen. In 2011 The Texettes grew to become a 6 piece outfit with Denis Surmon (bass), Sam White (keys), Dave Rhodes (lead Gtr) & John Appleby (drms) who have been exciting audiences with their own brand of haunting ballads & catchy, danceable & cool country rock songs.

8.15pm  Tickets $12/10 at the door.

For Texettes band info go to:  Go to: www.texettes.com or https://www.facebook.com/TheTexettes?fref=ts

 

 

 The Port Rocks on Sunday February 23.

Sample ImageFrom 11 am to 8 pm; go here for info: www.facebook.com/ThePortRocks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageThe Beggars SING show kicks off its Fringe performances this Saturday and Sunday.

Tickets?????   go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/sing/08ddd76d-ea59-492d-b1ca-2235cf94dfd9
 
 

 

 

 

A battle Royale - Bob Dylan verses Neil Young:

Sample ImageStuart Day has been channelling Neil Young since “Tonight’s the Night” knocked his socks off in 1975. Since then there have been plenty of new socks, but only one Neil.   Aussie Bob was ‘groomed for the position’ of carrying Dylan’s music to the public. “He sounds more Bob than Bob does,” said one Fringe blogger last year. “I’m now addicted to Aussie Bob” said another. 

Go here:  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/a-battle-royale-bob-dylan-vs-neil-young-with-aussie-bob-and-young-neil/4371366c-df19-48cd-9468-be7e021da16a
 
 
 

 

 

Robby Bowler - Inside Out:

Sample ImageImagine Norah Jones and Joni Mitchell and you have Robby Bowlers show 'Inside Out'. This singer songwriter is an unforgettable performer with presence that's relatable and natural in style. With previous sell out Fringe shows you don't want to miss this fun, soulful true performer. Accompanied by Jeff Clarke. 

Go Here:  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/robby-bowler-inside-out/15dc2e23-effb-4dc2-90a5-eb195da73891
 
 

 

 

 
 
 

This could be big - Don Morrison:

Sample Imagehttp://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/this-could-be-big/455c7150-3e1c-42d0-9a83-636f712a5979
 
 
 


 
 

Hallelujah 80 years of Leonard Cohen:

Sample Imagehttp://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/hallelujah-80-years-of-leonard-cohen/41d329e9-4a92-4474-a979-5b14687fdaaf
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

Rolling Thunder -Bob Dylan in the 70's

Sample ImageThe music of Bob Dylan in the 70's, presented by a 10 piece band fronted by Luke Ashby, recreating the random, ramshackle spontaneity of Dylan's Rolling Thunder Revue of 1975. This concert performance will highlight music from 'Blood On The Tracks' and 'Desire, along with a selection of classic Dylan songs in a 75 minute show featuring songs including 'Hurricane', 'Idiot wind', 'Tangled Up In Blue' 'Sara' 'Like a Rolling Stone', 'Highway 61 Revisited' and many others. 

Go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/rolling-thunder-bob-dylan-in-the-70s/a79fd945-f8f9-404e-8191-51bdaada029f
 

 

 

 

And during the Fringe, at the Prospect Town Hall venue, look for:  

 

The Krusty Cowboy Klub

Sample ImageCowboy music at its most dubious – COWBOY  music… not country and western. The Krusty Cowboy Klub is a lively show peppered with bulldust and cowshit at the Prospect Town Hall, Wednesday March 5, 8-30 pm. Wear a cowboy hat, pull your chaps on, sing and dance and make a right Greg Hunt of yourself at the Krusty Cowboy Klub. Tickets Ten Bucks at the door. Don't bring the kiddies unless you want them rounded up and branded.
 

 

 

 The Cat’s Pyjamas’ 'Life isn’t all beer and skiffle but it should be!'

Sample ImageThe return of the Cat’s Pyjamas in Skiffle mode. Don’t know what Skiffle is??? Neither do the Cat’s Pyjamas but they have a mighty good go at it presenting some iconic Skiffle tunes and a bewildering catalogue of gnarly and nutty tunes in a bright and lively Skiffle sort-of acoustic mode.
Here’s the blurb, its veracity is true and can be vouched for: Just before the birth of Rock Roll the water broke and that was SKIFFLE!  Eeeeurgh! Anywaty...  It’s home-made; It’s a little bit untidy; It’s rowdy and a little bit of fun and it’s at the Prospect Town Hall!
The Cat’s Pyjamas is: ‘The Preacher’ Denis Surmon on vox, guitar and string bass; Jeff Algra-Rhythms on drums and noisy bits; David Rocky Rhodes on acoustic and other guitars and vox, and  Peter Martin on bass, guitar, vox, harmonicas and animal noises.
ONE SHOW ONLY Fri Mar 7 @ 9.30pm
Tickets only $10 at the door! More fun than the time the strings on granny's corset busted in the middle of Myers!  What a scream! Well, she did, anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The American recordings— the last 10 years of Johnny Cash

Sample ImageIn the last 10 years of his life, Johnny Cash teamed with iconic producer Rick Rubin to record incredible versions of songs by Nine Inch Nails, U2, Nick Cave & many more. Hear Rohan Powell present:  “AMERICAN RECORDINGS—THE LAST 10 YEARS”
ONE SHOW ONLY—Sun 2nd Mar @ 7pm; Tickets at the Door.
 
 
 

 

 

 

Ahead in March...

The Texettes and Acoustic Scandal at Bangor Bushfire Relief Concert.

Sample ImageAn evening of entertainment on Saturday March 1 (2014), main event 4pm– 10pm - Raising funds for the bush fire appeal

Entry adult$10; children under 15 free
On the oval Main North rd., Wirrabara in the Southern Flinders Ranges
Featuring the award winning South Australian country music artists The Texettes with Acoustic Scandal + Soulfire  and a line-up of local and non-local talent
Food and refreshments activities for the kids
Bring your own blanket or seat and support your community
Inquiries Kev Sizer: 86684238; mob 0400598651
Andrew Trott mob0427684127

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brain Space

Now that the kids are back at skool I have enjoyed the opportunity to free-up brain space by getting back into the shed and work on my inventions. Inventing is big with our mob; my predecessor, way back in the 70’s, invented the re-usable sandwich for late-night night clubs when the rule was that you had to have a “meal” to enter one of these dives to watch the nudie shows. The sanger was made out of realistic foam rubber with realistic rubber ham and cheese and it would have made the family a lot of money if the cops hadn’t walked in and observed a bloke getting served the “meal”. The cops made him eat in in front of them and the poor bastard choked. Back then people thought the Heimlich Manouvre was a legal stunt a Nazi war criminal pulled to avoid charges of mass murder so they all just stood around and looked concerned.

But a few accidental deaths have never stopped us in our pursuit of new and possibly dangerous gadget or thingamabob.  The recent hot weather sparked the genius for my first invention:  A chook pen that takes advantage of a heat wave – it has a glass roof to turn the coop into a blistering tropical sauna that causes the chooks to lay boiled eggs. Unfortunately it boiled the chooks before they got a chance to lay the fukkn eggs but the birds tasted ok. Bit light on fats a juices but ideal for dieters.

The second invention was going to be my holy grail.  I genetically modified my car by inserting greyhound genes into the Mitsubishi's DNA to create a car that would run on water and doggie biscuits. Emissions are lowered to the occasional fart – a bit whiffy but no carbon monoxide - and a turd of perhaps considerable size - you just had to carry a roll of garden bin liners to pick it up. Talk about economy?? Bag of dog bikkies, the occasion tin of pal and a bowl of water in the garage.  Talk about convenience???? No wandering around the Coles car park looking for the fukkn thing; just give a whistle and it comes rolling up to meet you, wagging its rear bumper. I was convinced I was on my away to extreme wealth or at least putting a dent in me bankcard bill when things went south. I was hurtling along the SE freeway when the fukkn thing pulled up in the middle of the road to lick its diff and we got rear-ended by a b-double.

Not to be deterred I rebounded with what I believe is a ‘winner’ and I will begin with a cpmmercial presentation. Men… Over 40? … Married with Kids and realise that your testicles are neither useful nor appreciated…???  Thinking you may as well get the snip but don’t feel manly about squirting decaffeinated into the shower plughole???  Well, hang on a minute… get them unwanted testicles converted into Blue Ring Mirror Disco balls. Powered by 4 D-cell battery pack that hides discretely up your liquorice lane, a simple twist on the modified knob on the end of your joystick selects any of three rotating speeds. The Blue Ring mirrored disco balls sparkle with lovemaking fun, especially if your fellatio partner wears a miner’s headlamp strapped under the chin or around the skull - the location of the light depends on the preferred position, i.e.:  68 or 69. (68 being you eat me and I owe you one). All conversions guaranteed to be a sensation!!!! Ring the toll-free number and pay with your credit card.

 
Cut to the Fringe! Print E-mail
Friday, 07 February 2014

What’s on, Watson, as the clever Victorian detective said to the humble MD. Well….

Sample ImageThe Rhythm Cats is at the Lighthouse Tavern, Sunday, February 9, from 4 – 8 pm. Rock and Roll!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageFringe event: Pastor Cash & his Ministry Of Money Revival Show launches on Saturday February 15.

Ingot we Trust presents A New and Original  SA music/theatre production at the Prospect Town Hall


Preview Sat 15th Feb @ 4 pm
Opening Nite16th Feb @ 8pm

Sunday 16th Feb @ 4pm
Thursday 20th Feb @ 8pm
Friday 21st Feb @ 7.30pm
Saturday 22nd Feb @ 9pm
Sunday 23rd Feb @ 6pm
Tuesday 25th Feb @ 8pm
Friday 28th Feb @ 7.30pm
Sunday 2nd Mar @ 4pm
Friday 7th Mar @ 8pm
Friday 14th Mar @8p

For Tickets and info go here:  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/pastor-cash-and-his-ministry-of-money-revival-show/1c2659a5-f855-40d2-99b5-febd0ea8161a

 

Sample Imagepan!c has been let out of school but it's a private showing so it doesn't really count. Still...it's good to be back!














Sample ImageFringe event:  Let it Roll presents: the Soul of Rhythm & Blues at the Prospect TownHall

Adelaide’s own award winning masters of Rhythm & Blues, LET IT ROLL combine forces
with Australia’s queen of blues and soul GAIL PAGE (“The Voice” & winner of 3 Chain Blues Awards) and LIZ STOCCO, to present a pow-erhouse 90-minute show paying homage to the legends of Rhythm & Blues and Soul Music

Show Times & Dates:
Friday 21st Feb @ 9pm
Sat 22nd Feb @ 3pm
Sat 22nd Feb @ 7pm
Sun 23rd Feb @ 3pm
Go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/the-soul-of-rhythm-and-blues/3e5a4ca7-f2a2-4116-8637-d57b9107661e



Sample ImageSunday, February 23, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the Old Clarendon Inn, Clarendon


Go for dinner or just a snack - the Clarendon Inn offers a range of special dishes, tapas as well as a selection of 'classics'. Then there's the pizza! Very good pizza.

And there's plenty of great entertainment coming up ths month; get on the mailing list to find out what's on next: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

 

 

 

Sample ImageTHE TEXETTES ONE SHOW ONLY Sun Feb 23 @ The PROSPECT TOWN HALL

8.15pm  Tickets $12/10 at the door
For more than a decade the Texettes have written, recorded and toured their original style of Roots music to a growing band of eager supporters. The Texettes were mostly Terry and Helen. In 2011 The Texettes grew to become a 6 piece outfit with Denis Surmon (bass), Sam White (keys), Dave Rhodes (lead Gtr) & John Appleby (drms) who have been exciting audiences with their own brand of haunting ballads & catchy, danceable & cool country rock songs. Go to: www.texettes.com


MORE FRINGE:

Sample ImageThe Beggars – SING!

go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/sing/08ddd76d-ea59-492d-b1ca-2235cf94dfd9

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageA battle Royale - Bob Dylan verses Neil Young:

Stuart Day has been channeling Neil Young since “Tonight’s the Night” knocked his socks off in 1975. Since then there have been plenty of new socks, but only one Neil.   Aussie Bob was ‘groomed for the position’ of carrying Dylan’s music to the public. “He sounds more Bob than Bob does,” said one Fringe blogger last year. “I’m now addicted to Aussie Bob” said another.  Go here:  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/a-battle-royale-bob-dylan-vs-neil-young-with-aussie-bob-and-young-neil/4371366c-df19-48cd-9468-be7e021da16a

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageRobby Bowler - Inside Out:

Imagine Norah Jones and Joni Mitchell and you have Robby Bowlers show 'Inside Out'. This singer songwriter is an unforgettable performer with presence that's relatable and natural in style. With previous sell out Fringe shows you don't want to miss this fun, soulful true performer. Accompanied by Jeff Clarke.  Go Here:  http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/robby-bowler-inside-out/15dc2e23-effb-4dc2-90a5-eb195da73891

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageThis could be big - Don Morrison:

http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/this-could-be-big/455c7150-3e1c-42d0-9a83-636f712a5979

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageHallelujah 80 years of Leonard Cohen:

http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/hallelujah-80-years-of-leonard-cohen/41d329e9-4a92-4474-a979-5b14687fdaaf

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageRolling Thunder -Bob Dylan in the 70's

The music of Bob Dylan in the 70's, presented by a 10 piece band fronted by Luke Ashby, recreating the random, ramshackle spontaneity of Dylan's Rolling Thunder Revue of 1975. This concert performance will highlight music from 'Blood On The Tracks' and 'Desire, along with a selection of classic Dylan songs in a 75 minute show featuring songs including 'Hurricane', 'Idiot wind', 'Tangled Up In Blue' 'Sara' 'Like a Rolling Stone', 'Highway 61 Revisited' and many others.  Go here: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/rolling-thunder-bob-dylan-in-the-70s/a79fd945-f8f9-404e-8191-51bdaada029f

 

 

 

 

 

And during the Fringe, at the Prospect Town Hall venue, look for:  

 

Sample ImageThe Krusty Cowboy Klub,    

Cowboy music at its most dubious – COWBOY  music… not country and western. The Krusty Cowboy Klub is a lively show peppered with bulldust and cowshit at the Prospect Town Hall, Wednesday March 5, 8-30 pm. Wear a cowboy hat, pull your chaps on, sing and dance and make a right Greg Hunt of yourself at the Krusty Cowboy Klub. Tickets Ten Bucks at the door. Don't bring the kiddies unles you bring something to cook 'em in. An' some sauce to go with 'em.

 

 

 

 Sample ImageThe Cat’s Pyjamas’ 'Life isn’t all beer and skiffle but it should be!'

The return of the Cat’s Pyjamas in Skiffle mode. Don’t know what Skiffle is??? Neither do the Cat’s Pyjamas but they have a mighty good go at it presenting some iconic Skiffle tunes and a bewildering catalogue of gnarly and nutty tunes in a bright and lively Skiffle sort-of acoustic mode.
Here’s the blurb; it’s veracity is true and can be vouched for: Just before the birth of Rock Roll the water broke and that was SKIFFLE!    It’s home-made; It’s a little bit untidy; It’s rowdy and a little bit of fun and it’s at the Prospect Town Hall!
The Cat’s Pyjamas is: ‘The Preacher’ Denis Surmon on vox, guitar and string bass; Jeff Algra-Rhythms on drums and noisy bits; David Rocky Rhodes on acoustic and other guitars and vox, and  Peter Martin on bass, guitar, vox, harmonicas and animal noises.
ONE SHOW ONLY Fri Mar 7 @ 9.30pm
Tickets only $10 at the door! More fun than the time grandad fell off the roof and broke his coccyx. And his tailbone.

 

 

 

Ahead in March

Sample ImageThe Texettes and Acoustic Scandal at Bangor Bushfire Relief Concert.

Raising funds for the bush fire appeal

An evening of entertainment on Saturday March 1 (2014), main event 4pm– 10pm

Entry adult$10; children under 15 free

On the oval Main North rd, Wirrabara in the Southern Flinders Ranges

Featuring the award winning South Australian country music artists The Texettes with Acoustic Scandal + Soulfire  and a line up of local and non-local talent
Food and refreshments activities for the kids
Bring your own blanket or seat and support your community
Inquiries Kev Sizer: 86684238; mob 0400598651
Andrew Trott mob0427684127

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Corrugated iron Man – Christ, he’s noisy!

When a car load of coppers or a wagon full of wallopers is not enough, call for corrugated iron man! He makes a bit of a racket in a hailstorm!

At a meeting of the New Pigs in Charge of the Farm  – a bunch of double-dealers going under the moniker of the League of Ignorant Bigoted Egotistic Rich Asinine Leeches - concern was mounting.
“Fellow hogs, independently wealthy pigs, and the token sow or two,” droned the top Old School Tie pig, “…there’s been a new spate of global warmings reported from around the country and we want to sweep them under the carpet before the lefties and the greenies start whingeing again.  We need some cheap-working expendables to go out to the dreary country and piss on the hot spots.”
“What sort of idiots would want to try to save the country?”
“HA HA…I’m with you, my fellow Boar, it’s not the country that I would waste time and effort saving but there are some Idealistic fukwits out there. And the first one that springs to mind is the Champion of the underground front and back tunnels, Wombat Man.”
“But there’s bits of that global warming stuff all over the place; he can’t do all of it by himself.”
“True;  but he’s got a bunch of do-gooder mates who can help… they’re also stupidly idealistic to want to try to save the country.”

And so it was that a grouse team of crack Orstryan Superheroes gathered to take on the challenge of hiding outbreaks of global warming from the excitable public: Wombat Man, Galah Man, The Mighty Brownish Bilbyman, Public Service Woman, FairGo Man, Tally-Ho and Stubby – together they made up The Union of Aussie Underdogs.

“This is gonna cost yer…” Wombat man growled as he fronted the Big Pigs. “A thousand bucks and a slab of Coopers…  each!”
“We think that is overpaying you. We could get some Third World imports to do it for a dollar a day… and they’ll be happy to get that!”
“Goodoh. Get ‘em. Good bye.”
“Hang on a bit…. Let’s not be too hasty…. Perhaps we could re-consider your offer….. but you’ll need to sign our new IR agreements.”
“You’ll need to sign the fukken cheques or do the job yourselves - now pay up or fukup.”
“He’s got us over a barrel, we’re rooted…”
“If I had any of you dopes over a barrel I wouldn’t root your with Little Johnny’s tadger. Now pay up or start packing your Louis Vuitton luggage for a trip to the bush.”
So, they paid up and put in a ‘personal expenses’ claim to the public purse.

“Mates…” said Wombat Man to his fellow superheroes,  "it’s going to be a bugger of a job out there in the bush so we need Brown BilbyMan to tell us how to deal with the local conditions.”
“Well, ahh, er, um… I don’t know; I usually just hide under a mallee tree thingy….”
“Jeezuz… fukn wept,” cried Stubby. “He’s useless…”
“Leave him alone,” sed FairGo Man. “He’s just a little Bilby.”
“I know someone who could help,” said Galah Man. “He’s the forgotten hero of the bush: Corrugated Iron Man. He’s a proper bushie but he doesn't get around much so he’d be happy just to be doin’ something.”
“WHO?”
CORRUGATED IRONMAN…. He’s noisy as fuk!

Somewhere out past Lake Harry they found Corrugated IronMan….
“Crikey; thanks mates… Strewth,  I’d do anything to get away from this joint for a while,” he sed, rattling his loose roofing nails with glee.
“Righto,” chivvied Wombat Man. “Let’s get this job done and get outside of a few beers,”
“Hang on,” sed TallyHo. “I’ll be with you in a mo. I’m just rolling a durry.”
“Jeezuz. Ok.”
So… in ten minutes plus travelling time the Union of Underdogs arrived at a global warming hotspot somewhere out in the bush.
”Shit, it’s hot,” sed Stubby. “Wish I had some icy-colds.”
“Water will do for this job,” shouted Public Service Woman. “But what have we got to carry it in?”
“Well,” said Corrugated Iron Man, “I could make meself into a corrugated iron tank and youse could fill me up with water…”
“We’ll need to rewrite your job specification for that and arrange a different pay scale…” sed Public Service Woman.
“Nah.  You won’t need to do that; I’m not in the union or anything…”
“NOT IN THE UNION???” shouted Public Service Woman.” You can’t come onto this site….”
“Shut the fuk up with the bureaucracy stuff. We are contract labour and responsible to ourselves for OHS and super and stuff so….” shouted Wombat Man. “Let’s just find a fukkn creek and get Corrugated Iron Man tanked up.”
A creek was found, Corrugated IronMan filled to the brim and the team returned to the global warming hotspot.
“Now…” said Corrugated Iron tank man.  "I’ll just pull down me duds and open me tap to take a leak on the hotspot….”
He did so.  But all that issued was naught but a dribble.
“Bugger. It’s me prostrate -  been playin’ up a bit lately.”
"Har, Harr," laughed Stubby, That's not a tap... it's stopcock!"

“Have you seen a doctor?,” asked Public Service Woman.
“Nah. What do they look like?”
“Orright!” interrupted Wombat Man. “We need some WD40…. That will unfreeze his stopped cock. Galah Man, can you fly back to the nearest Mitre 10 and get a can of WD40 and a tap wrench?”
“Yeah, But it’s pretty late; the shops'll be shut by now.”
“Fair enough; we’ll wait until the morning.”
“I could do with a beer or three," sed Stubby
“Yeah,” agreed TallyHo, sticking his hand in the carton. “But they’re a bit warm.”
“Tie a rope around a couple of six packs and drop 'em into Corrugated IronMan’s tank,” suggested Wombat Man. “That’ll take the warm off ‘em.”
This they did. Then the team settled down for the night. Soon, however, they all began slapping themselves into a frenzy.
“Fukken mozzies…how’d they get out here!!!” they shouted.
“Er… It might be me,” sed Corrugated IronMan with some embarrassment. “I think the mozzies are breeding in me tank.”
“Christ! Tip some paraffin in there,” yelled Wombat man. “… that'll skittle ‘em.”
“We haven’t got any paraffin,” complained Brown BilboMan. “ Got buckets of kero for the lamps, but."
“That’ll do. Top Corrugated IronMan up with kero so we can get a decent snooze.”
They tipped twenty gallons of kero into Corrugated IronMan's tank and the mozzie problem backed off enough to let them sleep.  Next morning at daybreak they got a text message from galah man – he was returning with the WD40 and the wrench.
“Should he be texting while he’s flying?” queried Public Service Woman.
“Give us a fukkn break, woman, I’m sure he’s using wings-free…” groaned Wombat man.
“Oh well, might have a drink of yeasty water for breakfast…,” said Stubby. “Them bottles should be cool by now.”
“I’ll have one, as well” … “Me too!”,  “Me Three…” rang the dawn chorus.
The team enjoyed refreshing breakfast ale while they waited. 
Then they had another.
The sun rose and global warming started in with a vengeance.
“Crikey…. It’s hot as a microwaved pie….” said Stubby.
“Yeah.”
They had another beer.
Another text came in.
“WD40 will be here in ten minutes,” sed Wombat Man. “And not a minute too soon. It’s as hot as Miley Cyrus in a g-string.”
“Ten minutes, eh?” mumbled TallyHo. “Just enough time for a durry.”
In a few minutes, Galah Man could be seen closing in, a can of WD40 in one claw and a tap wrench in the other.
“Righto, mateys,” called Wombat Man. “Let’s get this job done and get out of here;  there’s a slab of Coopers with my name on it!  Stubby… collect those bottles and bury them. TallyHo… make sure you dispose of that roach carefully; it’s dry as Bronwyn Bishop’s humanity bucket out here.”
“Right-ee-oh!”  said TallyHo, flicking the durry butt into Corrugated IronMan’s tank.
“NO!!” shouted the rest of the bunch.
“What??” queried TallyHo.
The kero floating on top of Corrugated Iron Man’s tank caught fire. Up it went with a frightening whooomp!
Corrugated IronMan screamed. “Help! Help me… I’m on fire!!!”
“Jeezus fukn wept… Oh... the humaniuty....” moaned Wombat man as Corrugated Iron Man ran screaming in a panic,  sloshing burning kero out of his overflow spout and onto the parched ground.
“This’ll be a bit of a disaster, for sure...”  mused Wombat Man as the grass and scrub, tinder dry, ignited with alarming enthusiasm. Within seconds a bushfire was raging.
“Ahh, shit!” said Wombat man, as the fire raced away on the wind. “That's fukked that. Oh well, somebody knock Corrugated Iron Man to the ground before he boils and see if there is any beers left.”

 
Old Clarendon is the weekend's hot spot Print E-mail
Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Here we are into the last weeks of January –already! – and the gigs are getting thicker on the ground.

 

Sample ImageFriday night, January 24, the Steve Brown Band will play the Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore. If you have not tried the Workers Club for musical entertainment I suggest you make 2014 the year to step outside the regular quadrilateral. The Semaphore Workers Club, situated on the high side of the Esplanade at the Semaphore Foreshore, is The Home of Roots and Blues music in South Australia and is a wallet-friendly venue.  Live music starts at 9:pm.

 

 

The Bondi Cigars float into town.

Sample ImageThey are without doubt an Australian musical institution and 25 years deserves to be celebrated so get along to any of these three gigs (listed below) and join in the celebration with the Bondi Cigars.

Friday 24 January, Old Clarendon Inn, Grants Gully Rd Clarendon SA; Ph 8383 6166

 

 

 

And...

Sample ImageSaturday 25 January: THe Bondi Cigars play the Governor Hindmarsh Hotel

59 Port Rd Hindmarsh SA; Ph 8340 0744.  Doors @ 8pm;  Tix $25 plus b/f (oztix)

 

 

But wait, there's more... the Bondi Cigars are also at:

 South Augusta Football Club; Conroy St, Port Augusta SA on Sunday 26 January, with The Hooligans. Doors @ 7pm. Tix $25 from venue;  Ph: 8642 4565

 

 

Sample ImageSaturday, January 25, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the The Wheatsheaf Hotel, Thebarton – Free (8:30pm)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageSunday, January 26, THE RED HOT BLUES BAND play the Old Clarendon Inn, Clarendon

Red hot and swinging blues with the Mighty Davo Blighty, James Sweet Baby Meston, Robert not-so-keen-on-cricket-any-more Eyers and Denis the Preacher Surmon.  Free (Doors open at 3:30pm; live music from 5-9 pm).

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageBig Smoke is playing at The Fed at Semaphore January 26th - 8pm FREE

And keep a weather eye out for the next Big Smoke flare-up: Big Smoke is returning to its roots at The Gov on Saturday 22nd March 9-11.30. FREE

 

 

 

 

 

ADVERTISEMENT

Chair for sale. Yes it’s a bit like the classifieds section but up in the main pages ... Peter ‘Danger Man’ McIver has an executive chair for sale. If you are a chairless executive standing around the boardroom or just some heap of manure who wants to feel a bit like an executive read this:  

Sample Image‘Dear friends,

This desk chair ( still in its box ) needs a home.

$100 which will be sent to my brother in Africa. ( see below for website )

http://www.actionthisday.org/

First in gets the best seat in the house!

Regards

Peter.’

 

 Hmmm... he says it's still in it's box but, in that photo above, it appears not to be! Still... anyway.... well, you know.... must be magic.

 

 

Sample ImageThe Port Rocks 2014, Sunday February 23.

Don't forget to put this date in your diaries, bands include The Memphis Suns, Lady Voodoo, East Texas, The Satellites Australia, Dead Lucky, The Rustlers and more to be announced. Classic Car display, Chics clothing, Port Princess Dolphin Cruises, crazy food trucks...and MORE, MORE, be there or be L7  go to: https://www.facebook.com/semaphoremusicfestival

 

 

 

 

 


Sample ImageSurfing with Scissors plays the Whitmore Hotel (city) on Friday January 31.  Always an event Surfing with Scissors plumbs the ocean depths for its watery soul and the scrapes the coral reefs for its twangy, stingy – er… stinging - guitar sounds. Come and have some fun –it won’t cost you nothing’!

 

 

 

 

 

The Fringe:  Pastor Cash and the Ministry of Money Revival Show

Sample Image1932... the great depression hit hard making easy pickings for unscrupulous preachers, snake oil salesmen, and, coupled with prohibition of the sale of alcohol, organised crime spiralling in the USA.

Pastor Gimme (“That's Jimmy with a 'G'”) Cash passes himself off as a good, wholesome preacher travelling the backwaters with his slick looking crew, using the good book to justify collection of money from his flock (through ‘faith’ healing), encourages drinking and gets the whole congregation dancing – using his version of biblical stories.

SA written, produced and conceived, this show is something completely out of the square - and with plenty of toe-tapping tunes and comedy, a great cabaret experience is assured.

Enjoy a pre-show drink in the licensed Shindig Lounge - or stay after the show and feel the serenity with plenty of 30s swing tunes to cool your soul!

Go here: https://www.facebook.com/events/697184140315695/

 

 

Also in the Fringe, look for…

The Beggars – SING! http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/sing/08ddd76d-ea59-492d-b1ca-2235cf94dfd9

A battle Royale - Bob Dylan verses Neil Young: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/a-battle-royale-bob-dylan-vs-neil-young-with-aussie-bob-and-young-neil/4371366c-df19-48cd-9468-be7e021da16a

Robby Bowler - Inside Out: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/robby-bowler-inside-out/15dc2e23-effb-4dc2-90a5-eb195da73891

This could be big - Don MOrrison: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/this-could-be-big/455c7150-3e1c-42d0-9a83-636f712a5979

Hallelujah 80 years of Leonard Cohen: http://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/hallelujah-80-years-of-leonard-cohen/41d329e9-4a92-4474-a979-5b14687fdaaf

And during the Fringe, at the Prospect Town Hall venue, look for:   The Texettes; The Krusty Cowboy Klub and The Cat’s Pyjamas’ 'Life isn’t all beer and skiffle but it should be!'.

 

The call of the Psychic….OOOooOOoOoOOooooo000oooooooo

Sample ImageI can't keep away from these psychic fukkers, I love 'em. I especially love ‘em after I hear about some twat or other who did a past life regression and discovered they were the Handmaiden to Cleopatra or the sister-in-law to the Dowager Fullmuut of Fallopia or somewhere. So, off I went again, staring into the crystal ball after passing over a small-ish remuneration to the shyster.

Back, back away back in time I went, back to the days of ancient Greece -  the Golden Ages of old Greece -  and what does the magic fish bowl tell me????  Well -- as I stare all dopey-like into it,  it tells me I was a dogsbody nobody in the Casa de neigra of Krappipus Aggati, property developer for Ruins R Us in Athens – ancient Athens. And through the magic imparted by the marvellous crystal doohickie I suddenly found myself right there on the spot when Krappipus called for me to run an errand, for that's what I was - Dogas Grigoropoolos, the lowly errant boy. Er… errand boy...  in some middle manager's 2-storey Greek tradgedy.  My master was worried; "You look pensive, Master," I fawned. "Is there something I can do for you to alleviate this ill-humour? May I chew your fingernails for you? Cover myself with honey and lay on an ants' nest? But, no... it was none of the usual debasing rituals I must perform.  Instead,  my Master entrusted me to skedaddle with a very important message:  a question for the ‘Wise One’.

Down to the market place I hotfooted in my earnest haste to please my employer and dashed into the largest deli in the town square. The deli was pretty chockers and the staff were slinging animal heads and guts all over the place and I had to wait long-time to get served. And when I did get attention from a serving staff I politely explained that it was waiting to be served by Aristotle, the owner of the Deli. None but he.

But, he was busy, said the staff, stiffly.

Well, this is an important job for my master; I can fukkn wait, I returned poltely.

So I waited and I waited and eventually,  Aristotle was ready to serve me.

"Oh, fuk, no!" he moaned. "Not you again,"  he sed. "Whaddya want this tme?"

"Mr Aristotle, I am here on an important errand for my master; as you know he is having a big party this weekend end for the all-in Greek Wrestlers' Club and he has cleaned the barbecue, stocked up the cellar with amphoras of plonk, washed and perfumed the goats and shaved their arses for the 'dancing',  and now he wants to know if the good weather is going to hold till Sunday?"

Well, Mr Aristotle went red then purple and then he shouted....

"Your master did not send you to ask that question of Aristotle at the deli... he told you to go ask the Oracle of Delphi! Now fuk off, you idiot!!"

When I returned to the psychic's presence I was struck by the feeling that, over the generations I have lived since then,  not much has changed with me.

 

 

 
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