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Things are getting Red Hot this week... Print E-mail
Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Cruisin’ Country 3 was a hoot! Give me more and I will love it even more. I walked to every gig, and home again.  But we have a pretty good week ahead here on shore:


Sample ImageHEAT 4 - Last round of the Blues Heats at the Gov. front bar this Thursday evening. Here's the line-up.


·         CRAIG ATKINS

·         LUCAS and BAZ

·         SAND RELICS 

Band category:-

·         BLACK ASPIRIN                         



 Make your presence felt and hear some great music at the Gov for the  Blues Heats.



Sample ImageAnd here's a warm tip for blues dancers and swingers - the Red Hot Blues Band will be burning up the Whitmore Hotel on Friday October 25. Featuring the fiery talents of David leather-lips Blight on harmonicas, Sweet Baby James Meston of guitars and vox, Robert gor-blimey Eyers on drums and gags and Denis the preacher Surmon on bass and vocals. FREE admission, stomping blues and plenty good times Friday night at the Whitty with the Red hot Blues Band.






The Satellites, the Wheatsheaf Hotel, Friday October 25. The Satellites’ musical influences stem from all forms of roots music including Country, Rhythm & Blues, Jazz, Swing, Western Swing, Rock n’ Roll, and of course Rockabilly adding their own unique flavour to come up with the Sample Imagerockin’est combo Adelaide has seen in years. The Satellites live act is a show in its own right. Their performance is exceptional, with stage antics & an exuberant spontaneity that makes their live shows an unforgettable experience.  http://www.musicsa.com.au/artists/satellites/

 Sample Image


Sample ImageSunday arvo at  The Gov. and the beggars present a special treat for lovers of country, roots and folk music on Sunday afternoon October 27. At 3 pm, the Texettes kick off a mighty double-bill with the Beggars. This will be a feast of rootsy country music and soaring harmonies and other good stuff. And beer drinking. These bands are building international followings and this is a top opportunity to see them both.

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Sunday October 27, from 4:30 PM - Fundraiser at the Palais, Semaphore.

Concert for Brandon – dig deep while enjoying some cracking music.


At The Palais, Semaphoreacross the road from the Semaphore Workers Club – the Home of Blues and Roots music in South Australia.



Sample ImageTsunami Steve and Surfing With Scissors are back for the summer season at The Gaslight Bar, Brompton, last Sunday of every month throughout summer! And it all gets under way Sunday 27 October! That's right!! Sunday 27 October is your first opportunity this summer to enjoy the twangin', reverbin' mayhem that typifies a Surfin With Scissors gig! There will be special guests old and new, cheap snack meals, crazy low $5 admission and more!!!

Here's the link to the Surfing with Scissors facebook 'Event' page if you can be fucked looking at it!





Sample ImageMUTU VUDU and the JUMP DADDIES, Sunday October 27th at the Semaphore Workers Club…..

Blues infused r&b and funked up soul.  MutuVudu is a soul/blues infused 5 piece exposition whose sound is powered and grounded in roots music. Bold and sassy to the max, Mutu Vudu bring something old, something new to the Adelaide music scene, fervent soul and bosom blues.  Join the irrepressible Lara Mutu and her Mutu brothers Steve Smith, Frank Lang, Jesse Dean Freeman and Mick Garcia for a night of Raphael saadiq, Rosco Gordon, Bob Marley, Candye Kane and mulled wine. To round out this event the Jump Daddies will for the first time in a while, set the room a jumpin’ so don’t be the one to say you heard about it , be there or be square daddyo. Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore - 5-8 pm



When I was a pirate on the seven seas there weren’t that many; there was only about three or four, I recall. There might have been more up on the high seas but my boat couldn’t get up there and the handbrake wasn’t good enough to hold the old tub if we got stuck halfway up.

But I didn’t care; I was happy as a pig in shit being a pirate in the low seas. My favourite bit of being a pirate was being an arsehole, a job in which I started well and expanded to overfill the position. For example, the toilet was a dunny seat set on a couple of rails that stuck out over the gunnels. You simply pulled down your duds, sat on the seat and pushed out with your legs so you wouldn’t poo down the side of the ship. Now, when no one was looking I would sneak out and swipe the cover on the date roll dispenser so the bog roll would get all wet and soggy. Then I'd watch as each sailor tried to wipe his arse and got Kamal's finger. Boy, did they bleat about that - the sissies. Made me fukken laugh, though, especially as I had me own designer dunny built into my cabin for my own personal use.

I loved going out to sea. I’d put on all me pirate clobber and swing me cutlass around dangerously, taking great slices out of the ozone-infested air.

"Avast, ye fukken swabs," I’d roar, "... and weigh the fukken anchor!"

"Sixteen stone, seven pound and six ounces, Capn!"

"Holy firkin halibuts!!!! That thing will sink straight to the fukken bottom of the ocean.  Put it on a diet immediately. Hoy, you - Bosun...."

"Aye, Capn..."

"Run up the mainsail; and, while you've got the Husqvana out you can run up a new pair of britches for me - I’ve autographed the gusset of me good pair with the smelly texta… Righty-ho, let’s get rolling. Stick ‘er in first, let in the clutch and kick ‘er in the guts! Master Bates - take her out into the Gulf stream. What’s eating you, Mr Bates?"

"Schooner one and a half leagues off the starboard bow."

"Oh aye... and what brand is she?”

"British, Capn, Sir.”

"Semaphore them to scuttle themselves, Bates.  I wouldn’t cross a stream of piss for a schooner of British. But call me when they're turning up in pints or barrels. Speaking of that... whose turn is it in the barrel today?”

"Snaggletooth McGhee, sir."

"Cripes! Scrub my name off the slate and send the cabin boy to my rooms in five minutes!  Midshipman Ima Numpty... what the fuk are you doin' comin' out of the fukken hold with that fukken pick and fukken shovel?"

"Arrrhgh. I just buried our treasure, Capn."

“Oh...? And just where did you manage to do that down there?”

"Somewhere them other pirate buggers will never think to look, sir ...  roight underneath the ship!”

“Zounds….!!!” I uttered as me eyebrows rose sharply towards the brim of me pirate chapeau. “And did you notice anything unusual while you were doing this clever thing, Mr Numpty?”

" Aye, Capn; some rising damp, sir.”


“Well, a little more than ‘some’, sir.  ‘Tis filling the buryin’ hole nicely.”

“Double Zounds! Master Bates… the bailing cans are in the galley and If you need me I’ll be in the rubber duckie on me way to Fiji. Yo fukken Ho and Toodle-ooo, you poxy donut threaders. Say hello to David Jones for me!”


I miss being a pirate. I'm still an arsehole, but it was so much more fun dressed up like one, too.


Blues and Country rule the 'roots' this week Print E-mail
Wednesday, 09 October 2013

Sample ImageThursday evening at the Gilbert Hotel – Sweet BabyJames and Rob Eyers. 7 pm kick-off for the sweetest double voodoo blues.  And the Gilbert does a pretty good menu for people who like to eat every now and then. My favourite is the Gilbert Buffalo Wings but you have to book your order they go so fukn fast! Here is the number just in case you were thinking about it: 8231 9909






Sample ImageThe Streamliners (left) are getting’ ready to hit it at the Semaphore Workers Club  (93 Esplanade, Semaphore, Ph . 8449 9110)  this Friday October 11th. Band kicks off around 9.15pm. The Semaphore Workers Club is The Home of Roots and Blues Music in South Australia.





Blues at the  GOVSample Image

For the whole month of October on every Thursday night, the newly formed ADELAIDE ROOTS & BLUES ASSOCAITION (ARBA), and in association with Gravy Train Promotions, will be holding the new “Blues Heats” competition @ The Gov’s “GUMBO ROOM”.  


Blues Heats roundup: The first Blues heats are down and the winners are:

 Mick Kidd: Sample Image.. and

Filthy Lucre.Sample Image

The heats continue Thursday at the Gov. Here is the programme  for the next three weeks:

HEAT 2  OCT 10           



Band category:-






HEAT 3  OCT 17   



Band category:-

LAZY EYE                               

PETER JENKINS BAND                                 


HEAT 4  0CT 24  




Band category:-

BLACK ASPIRIN                         



Get yourself along and you will surely hear something you will enjoy, such is the variety of music on offer.


 Sample ImageWintermoon Festival  roundup:

Wintermoon is an extremely fun roots/indi music and arts festival in the forest a little North of Mackay in Queenslande. (http://www.wintermoonfestival.com/) Very hippy, camping and playing with snakes and stuff but the music was sensational. Not only the vagabond crew but these artists as well ( the ones we saw, at least) and they are worth a google:  Lily & King - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4xtypoP69U; Mustered Courage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5jYy6wPRPU -  women in Docs: https://www.facebook.com/womenindocsofficial

We had ideal conditions – good weather and starry nights and a mighty sound rig that catered to your every live production whim. Hope we go again sometime.




Sample ImageAmber Joy Poulton and the Hoy Men are playing on Cruisin Country 3 (http://cruisincountry.com.au/2013/)  leaving from Sydney on Saturday October 12. We will be in the company of country Royalty: Lee Kernaghan; Troy Cassar-Daley; Gina Jeffreys; Adam Harvey; Amber Lawrence, McAlister Kemp and the queen of country fiddle Pixie Jenkins. If possible I will try to rub shoulders with at least one of these their majesties even if it is only as we cram into the lifeboat while escaping the sinking vessel.





Looking further ahead

Sample ImageGet ready for The Red Hot Blues Band at the Whitmore Hotel on Friday October 25



Sample Image and The Beggars and The Texettes double feature at the Gov on Sunday October 27.

 Sample Image

Swinging the lead.. I mean, blues. Print E-mail
Thursday, 26 September 2013

Sample ImageBlues Avenue Duo at Regattas on Friday September 27.

Come on down to the arse-end of the convention centre for a wind-down drink and a listen to Sweet Baby James and the Preacher as they swing their way through a swag of sweet and savoury blues songs. And stuff. It starts early-ish – 5 pm – so dig into your flexi-time (if there is still such a thing; it’s been so long since I did any real work I can barely remember what a café-bar coffee with ‘whitener’ tastes like) anyway, use flexi-time or just get retrenched and come on down!




Sample ImageTHE CREW at The BARTLEY TAVERN this FRIDAY!!!at 8.30 pm.





Sample ImageThe Dirty Roots Band featuring 2 drummers this Friday @ the Semaphore Workers Club. Doors @ 8, band on 9.30pm for 2 sets







 Sample ImageFor the whole month of October on every Thursday night, the newly formed ADELAIDE ROOTS & BLUES ASSOCAITION (ARBA), and in association with Gravy Train Promotions, will be holding the new “Blues Heats” competition @ The Gov’s “GUMBO ROOM”.     First heats start Thurs 3rd of October from 8pm till 9.45pm with the remainder of the night open for jamming.  All artists to register @ the following email address This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Each registration automatically gets you a free 12 month membership to ABRA. NOTE : REGISTRATIONS END ON THE 30th SEPT midnight.    COMPETITION DATES: 3, 10, 17, 24 and finals on 31st Oct.

Artist registration costs for the “BLUES HEATS” are as follows and payable on the day of their performance.

  • Bands $50
  • Duos $30
  • Solo Artists $15

There are 2 winner categories

  • Best R&B Band (1st & 2nd prizes)
  • Best Solo or Duo (1st & 2nd prizes)

1st Prize for each category includes:-
Automatic entry to the 2014 “DEEP SOUTH FESTIVAL” and a Derringers Voucher.

2nd Prize include some recording time:-
A studio day for “Solo/Duo” category and a live recoding for the “Band” Category.

Also please note audiences and non-competitors can become ABRA members on the day for a special price of $20 (on the day only).Please also join and like us on facebook for all updates……



Sample Image  John Schumann and the Vagabond Crew are off the Wintermoon Festival in Qld (Mackay – slightly south of the about-to-happen sludge dredging and Great Barrier Reef destruction programme). Go here for Wintermoon guff: http://www.wintermoonfestival.com.   

  Wintermoon is so conservation-conscious (in contrast to the mining industry up the road) they even included a cute Freudian slip in the website blurb: “Campers are welcome to set up on Saturday 28th Septimber…” ‘Sep-timber’. Ha fukn ha. Still...  Anyway, you’d think that it would be a simple thing to get musicians up to a music festival these days - after all, there are more festivals than there are freckles on Fergie’s tits – it should be as easy as poking a greasy stick up a dog’s quoit. But not when you fly with Virgin;  you need to know the Mason’s handshake and the answer to the da vinci code. Did you hear about the spy that had to stop spying and go to the doctor because he had a code in the nose?  No? Well, there was this spy… Jeff or Derek … I can’t tell you his real name because that would blow his cover – not his nose, we’ll get to that later.  Anyway,  this spy guy Jeff Postlethwaite woke up all clammy one morning with a pounding ache in his sinuses and his breath smelled really bad and etc etc…








Sample ImageBig Smoke are playing at The Federal Hotel Semaphore on October 5th 8-12pm FREE.  This show is part of the Semaphore festival.










You might like this: 

Sunday 13th October 2013, Wolf Mail plays The Governor Hindmarsh.

 Sample Image

One of the world’s most unique bluesmen, Wolf Mail returns to Australian venues this September to celebrate the release of his sixth album ‘Above The Influence’.

“The Montreal-born, California-raised Blues-rocker has arrived at a blues guitar style all his own, sparked initially by childhood idol Elmore James and polished on thousands of stages in over 20 countries during a nomadic career spanning 27 years. That being said, ‘polished’ is not entirely the best word to describe Wolf Mail’s contribution to the blues. His world-renowned guitar tone gives voice to an entirely honest, earthy and personal approach to phrasing and writing, and this is matched with a gravely, instantly recognisable vocal style, sometimes rough around the edges (and all the better for it).”


My comment: On the stuff I heard from the new album … Fat, warm and beautiful blues guitar. Solid and in yer face. Gritty voice - sings like he means it, uncluttered arrangements….  Makes you want to hear more.

Tickets:  $20 + BF presale, $25 door;  www.thegov.com.au


 Also, go here for sound and vision of Wolf Mail: 





What else...?

Well, other gigs are/may be happening but I am working under a ‘sovereign border’ policy so I won’t tell anyone what the gigs are before they happen. However, I may give a press briefing when the gigs have been and gone – maybe a monthly round-up in review, so to speak -  and tell you that they were all good; really, really good and some were fantastic; too bad you missed them and no human lives were lost overboard.


Hunting the ferocious feral Tofu

Occasionally I let drop my veneer of genteel refinement and intellectualness and give in to my real nature; the nature that is in the heart of all animals… the hunter. Often it’s just to slay other living creatures and leave them bleeding on the turf or perhaps to rip out their teeth or other stuff like dicks and that and make carvings and love potions to sell to phuquewhitts. But this time, the most recent time, it was for a good cause. International Rescue alerted me to a crisis in an Indochina village where some domesticated tofu had broken out of their enclosures and gone feral.  Straight up, mate! It happenes. This relatively common problem is exacerbated when the usually accommodating tofu - long domesticated to enable it to develop the coveted soft white, creamy flesh -  is crossbred with the wild tivipi which produces a nasty and ferocious offspring called seitan. Seitan, a vigourous hybrid, often inbreeds again with the tofu to produce and even nastier piece of schitt that has a malevolent tempeh. The people of this particular village had let the matter get out of hand and rapid cross-breeding by a massive rogue, red-eyed tivipi was producing gangs of murderous seitan that were violently rooting escaped tofus, smashing down village bamboo fences like they were made of nothing but bamboo, eating children and slow adults and putting firecrackers in letterboxes. It was both nasty and naughty.

I took my Uzi; no point fukkin around with brain-fried tofu and bad-tempehed seitan. My Tofu hunting outfit is jungle green with vertical green stripes so I can blend in with the bamboo trees. I drag behind me a 1.6 metre diameter cable spool with 5 kilometres of continuous bullet belt wrapped around it. Like I said: no point etc etc. I was slurping along the mosquito-infested banks of the dirty Toy Lett river when a hideous noise froze my step. In a clearing not 50 metres away I saw a blood-chilling sight. A huge hump-buttocked tofu was being cruelly raped by the crazed red-eyed tivipi and the tofu was hollering and screaming. This wasn’t rough sex, mate, it was date-rape of the worst kind. There wasn’t  a picnic blanket or a bottle of wine in sight. I racked the Uzi’s magazine and fed in the belt. The racking noise made the tivipi look up and glare ferociously at me. Then the fukker charged with the tofu still pronged underneath. Both of them charging at me… I had no choice. It was bloody gruesome but, gee, it was lots of fun, too. I shot the crap out of both the tivipi and the tofu and marched back into the village with the heads of both of them mounted on bamboo stakes.

I was a hero; they gave me chinese-made ‘rolex’ watches and 'levi’ jeans. The watches rusted to death in half an hour and the jeans rotted off me before I got on the plane home. Still, I do have some very nice photographs of me holding aloft the two mutilated and bloody heads of the vicious tivipi and the surprised tofu. So… if you need any work like that done I am happy to revert to a nature-boy and kill anything for practically nothing.


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