Fringe, pop and rock music gigs - it's all on Blue Ring
Monday, 22 February 2010
Fringe; Port Rocks; the Festival, snakes and Ladders, dungeons and dragons... the gigs are taking off and the year is flying! Talking about flying, have you had anything to do with the Excess Baggage Nazis? I have.
Rocked up at the baggage weigh-in at the airport the other day, tossed the suitcase on the liquorice strap and flung my boarding pass in the guy’s face. That’ll be forty dollars, he says with a smirk. Forty dollars for what? I ask with an attitude. Forty bucks because your suitcase is four kilos over the weight limit, he said, as though I’m a thickie.. Bullshit! It can’t be! It’s only filled with buttonholes – I’m a travelling buttonhole salesman, says I, indignant. You’re kidding me, he said almost sneering. Buttonholes? Have they got buttons in them? has asks a bit sly like. Of course not! I sell ‘em empty! The customers fill 'em with their own buttons. I say, like he's the thickie. It strikes me, then, he says, all smart and educated like, that empty ones wouldn't weigh much, would they? Well, smart-arse, says I, head wobbling side to side a bit, if you’re thinking of shirt buttonholes, then they don’t weigh much at tall; but this case is full of overcoat buttonholes and they weigh three times as much - at least! So there! A long moment passed. Just pay the forty dollars and fuck off, he said, flinging my boarding pass in my face. A nice way to treat your customers, I don't think.
But, I'm over it now and looking forward to a week of musical and theatrical feasting.
First up is a Fringe show of Honky Tonk Angels at the Cathedral Hotel in North Adelaide, Friday February 26. The show is pert near sold out, podner, so go for your credit card NOW! That's Amber Joy over there on the right, in a green frock, eating some kind of electronic ice-cream with spaghetti coming out the bottom, pretending she's Loretta Lynn. But wait till you see the little prick pretending to be Conway Fukken Twitty! More like Con-away Twatty!
Next is Saturday February 27 when we have pan!c at the Daniel O'Connell Hotel in North Adelaide. What week would be complete without being at the Dan with pan!c, i ask yer? eh? Those other gigs have lost their flavour so do yourself a favour- wayoh-wayho - and pan!c at the Dan.
Sunday February 28 hop on your bike and pedal like mad you'll be able to catch Mike Hill in the Sidecutters' afternoon session (2 pm to 6 pm) at Mick O'Shea's Pub, Hackam. Go via Clapham. And if anyone tries to stop you, Smakkam and Sakkam.
Sunday february 28 has the Bluescasters appearing at the Wine Underground Coopers 1862 Bar on Pirie Street. Live music kicks off aroun 5 pm.
Also on Sunday February 28 - the Port Rocks. A long and winding celebration of live music starting from somehwere around morning tea (9 am) and running till long after Amber Joy Poulton and The Holy Men Finish up at the British Hotel, somewhere around 10.30 pm. Walk from venue to venue, take in the music delights, drink piss till you barf on your thongs. It will be more fun than sticking your hand in a bucket of hospital phlegm and flicking it at your mates.
Looking into the Fringe... Honky Tonk Angels has another show on Friday March . Go here (click that word 'here') for info and tickets.
And... Michael Hill and TheimaGen present On Ego, a kind of theatre thing that makes much other theatre look shallow. Science and emotion meld so successfully that you leave the theatre feeling less like a bundle of neurons than a king of infinite space. Now, I didn’t write that stuff… I pinched it off of a review about the show. And I pinched this, as well: Multimedia artists TheimaGen and director Michael Hill join forces to bring you this beautiful contemplation on love, identity and what it is to be human.
On the left is Brian the Brain, a photo what I pinched from the blurb about the show. I don't know whether Brian the Brain is actually in the show or .... hang on a minute! That's not a brain...it's a pickled walnut! I've eaten plenty of them things! You get a bitter one every noun then, just like real brains, eh? Still, I'm sure the pickled walnut has a very important role in the show. But don't take my word, go and see for yourself.
On ego is on at the Hartley Playhouse (D Building, UniSA Magill Campus off Brougham St Magill) and it has a robust season throughout March, go here (click that bit) to find out more and get tickets.
Blues, Rock and pop ... February Fun
Monday, 15 February 2010
WHoooowoooooooplschpphhtttslckhooooooahoooot!
I say, Holmes, what's that?
Watson, it sounds to me like a raging chicken vindaloo.
What? out here, Holmes…. On the loose?
It will be if I don’t pinch my butt cheeks tighter, Watson. Now, look over there in the torchlight… what do you see?
I say, Holmes, it looks like a butcher’s shop window chucked all over the floor.
Excellent deduction, Watson, but you are, as usual, dead wrong. It’s a crime scene. Can you describe it?
I say, Holmes, there’s blood and guts everywhere, up the walls, over the furniture and on the paintings and mirrors. There’s a body missing its arms and legs, the head has been severed and beaten to a pulp and it also seems like the body has been interfered with… sexually! Goodness Gracious, Holmes… who could be responsible for such a bloodbath?
Someone with whom we are quite familiar, Watson.
Doctor Moriarty?
No, Watson, our little friend, the blunt instrument.
Gadzooks, Holmes. I say… my Dear Chappie, look at this over here! A raw hamburger magazine – collectors’ edition. And some of the pages are stuck together!
Ho! Well done, Watson. This changes things - it’s all so obvious now. This is not an actual crime scene after all.
But Holmes… I say… I say… how does one then explain this gory debacle?
Watson. Meet what is left of the perverted mountebank, Reginald Gutterdump, third Earl of Carbuncle and Lord of Pussbucket Manor -- an addict to penny arcade porn. But he came seriously adrift when he stumbled across Black Label Private Edition Collector’s issues of Victorian Tits and Flaps. Read the clues Watson, it’s obvious even to a blind man with an India rubber cane. Gutterdump was here last night, leafing though this extremely provocative volume while agitating his tumescent phallus when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, red-faced and drooling like a monkey at the zoo. Racked with shame at the thought of what his mother might say; stung with guilt at the threat of going blind - and he already on his second monocle prescription - he picked up the carelessly discarded plumbers’ wrench and systematically beat himself to mush. Then he got a cheap Bunnings chainsaw and hacked off his arms, his legs and head and then shoved the wrench up his own arse to teach himself a lesson.
I say, Holmes.
Yes, Watson…it’s simple and clear cut case of suicide.
I say, Holmes… You are decidedly clever. And wonderful. Can I smoke your pipe?
Later, Watson. Later.
Which leads us nicely into this week's more cerebral diversions... Rockin' Riddum Music!
The Beggars wind up their show Bound For Australia with a matinee concert on Tuesday Feb 16th at the Star Theatre Bound For Australia showcases 200 years of great Australian music including songs from The Seekers, Anne Kirkpatick , Lucky Starr, Chad Morgan, Slim Dusty and of course The Beggars. The show also features guest musician and Adelaide legend Trevor Warner. Concert details are at http://www.outofthesquare.net.au and all tickets are $14.
Thursday night at the Gilbert Street Hotel Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers will get the crowd slipping and sliding with some great Blues and Roots music, including tracks offen their new LP CD Double Voodoo. So, don't stick pins that voodoo doll of your mother-in-law - stick 'em in the calendar for Thursday February 18 to go to the Gilbert Street Hotel. The vibe emanates eerily at 7 pm.
Friday February 19 is the day to catch Warp Factor Four at the Norwood Hotel. Featuring the dynamic fretful foursome of Mike Hill, David Rocky Rhodes, Sweet Baby James Meston and Rob Thunderclaws Boundy, Warp Factor 4 kicks in the warp drive at 9 pm and slams though the parsecs till 1 am the next fukken day! Talk about poking ice-block sticks in the captian's log! - Eeeurgh!...it's got peanuts in it.
Sunday, February 21 will see Rhumboogie play a "fringe Event" at the Wine Underground Coopers Bar in Pirie Street, the City. Be there at 5 pm for an afternoon of great rockin' piano boogie woogie.
121 Pirie St
Actually, That's all I have for you this week unless someone else sends in their gigs.
Double Wammy leads the charge with a Double Wammy of a weekend
Tuesday, 09 February 2010
One of life's little mysteries. Drink one milkshake – delicious – but can you drink another? Well maybe one more. But you cannot have another. Too much. Tummy full. Drink one beer – delicious – but can you drink another? Well... maybe another one. But can you drink one more?
No fukken' way!
You need to drink about eight more! Got me fukked how that works. The volume of liquid is the same and so on and so on... blah and blah, pointless discussion.
Anyway, stop thinking about beer and get started reading this stuff:
The Beggars continue presenting their show Bound For Australia in a season of matinee concerts in theatres around Adelaide in February. It’s a concert production showcasing 200 years of great Australian music including songs from The Seekers, Anne Kirkpatick , Lucky Starr, Chad Morgan, Slim Dusty and of course The Beggars.
The show also features guest musician and Adelaide legend Trevor Warner.
All concerts details are at http://www.outofthesquare.net.au and all tickets are $14. But... get a move on, you've missed two gigs already!
Dates: Wednesday Feb 10th at 11am Arts Centre Pt Noarlunga
Thursday Feb 11th at 2pm Golden Grove Arts Centre
Friday Feb 12th at 11am Parks Community Centre
Tuesday Feb 16th at 2pm Star Theatre
Friday, February 12 Double Wammy will be blasting the air molecules in the Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore. Special guest for the evening will be Jeff Algra on drums who takes over the chair while Maximum Intensity recovers from a particularly hideous back 'n' sak waxing treatment that went horribly wrong when the gaffa tape we were using got stuck to his scrotum. Should have taken more care but we are only musicians, after all Luckily for Max, he's already fathered a couple of offspring because now he'll be carrying his nuts in a pickle bottle. But we made a nice little coin purse out of his ball-bag. He can keep his drum key in it.
Friday February 12, we have JACKSON FIREBIRD, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the Wheatsheaf Hotel, THEBARTON. Nothing stupid to say about this. Maybe I'll think of something later.
On Saturday February 13th, Hoy Hoy! will break the seal on a new Rock and Rhythm venue at The Rex Hotel, Richmond Rd.
Then, on Sunday February 14... Double Wammy will be showing off at the Wine Underground Coopers 1862 Bar on Pirie Street, the City. (That's one part of the 'double wammy weekend' part of the page title.) Max Intensity may be able to take to the drum stool by then. We took him to the pharmacy to get him measured for an inflatible rubber ring to sit on.
"The old Farmer Giles' giving you a bit of gyp?" asked the pharmacist lady, sympathetically.
"I fukken' wish!" said Max, emphatically, glowering at us.
"Oh? Then let me help you with that," replied the pharmasist and whacked Max in the ringpiece with an eggbeater and spun the handle about fifty times.
"That should give give you a nice bunch of bum grapes to complain about, then," said the pharmacist lady, with a satisfied smile.
And also on Sunday, February 14, at the Semaphore Worker's Club, Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers launch their brand new - still with its new CD smell - Double Voodoo album. That's probably Voodoo Voodoo or even Voodoo squared but whatever it is, if youre into James and Rob the Semaphore Worker's Club is the place you need to be. James and Rob will be treating the crowd to two big sets of new and existing material, starting around 5-5.30 pm.
First up is a Fringe show of Honky Tonk Angels at the Cathedral Hotel in North Adelaide, Friday February 26. The show is pert near sold out, podner, so go for your credit card NOW! That's Amber Joy over there on the right, in a green frock, eating some kind of electronic ice-cream with spaghetti coming out the bottom, pretending she's Loretta Lynn. But wait till you see the little prick pretending to be Conway Fukken Twitty! More like Con-away Twatty!
Next is Saturday February 27 when we have pan!c at the Daniel O'Connell Hotel in North Adelaide. What week would be complete without being at the Dan with pan!c, i ask yer? eh? Those other gigs have lost their flavour so do yourself a favour- wayoh-wayho - and pan!c at the Dan. 
Sunday February 28 hop on your bike and pedal like mad you'll be able to catch Mike Hill in the Sidecutters' afternoon session (2 pm to 6 pm) at Mick O'Shea's Pub, Hackam. Go via Clapham. And if anyone tries to stop you, Smakkam and Sakkam. 
Also on Sunday February 28 - the Port Rocks. A long and winding celebration of live music starting from somehwere around morning tea (9 am) and running till long after Amber Joy Poulton and The Holy Men Finish up at the British Hotel, somewhere around 10.30 pm. Walk from venue to venue, take in the music delights, drink piss till you barf on your thongs. It will be more fun than sticking your hand in a bucket of hospital phlegm and flicking it at your mates.
Now, I didn’t write that stuff… I pinched it off of a review about the show. 
The Beggars wind up their show Bound For Australia with a matinee concert on Tuesday Feb 16th at the Star Theatre
Thursday night at the Gilbert Street Hotel Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers will get the crowd slipping and sliding with some great Blues and Roots music, including tracks offen their new LP CD Double Voodoo. So, don't stick pins that voodoo doll of your mother-in-law - stick 'em in the calendar for Thursday February 18 to go to the Gilbert Street Hotel. The vibe emanates eerily at 7 pm.
Friday February 19 is the day to catch Warp Factor Four at the Norwood Hotel. Featuring the dynamic fretful foursome of Mike Hill, David Rocky Rhodes, Sweet Baby James Meston and Rob Thunderclaws Boundy, Warp Factor 4 kicks in the warp drive at 9 pm and slams though the parsecs till 1 am the next fukken day! Talk about poking ice-block sticks in the captian's log! - Eeeurgh!...it's got peanuts in it.
Sunday, February 21 will see Rhumboogie play a "fringe Event" at the Wine Underground Coopers Bar in Pirie Street, the City. Be there at 5 pm for an afternoon of great rockin' piano boogie woogie. 
Friday, February 12 Double Wammy will be blasting the air molecules in the Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore. Special guest for the evening will be Jeff Algra on drums who takes over the chair while Maximum Intensity recovers from a particularly hideous back 'n' sak waxing treatment that went horribly wrong when the gaffa tape we were using got stuck to his scrotum. Should have taken more care but we are only musicians, after all Luckily for Max, he's already fathered a couple of offspring because now he'll be carrying his nuts in a pickle bottle. But we made a nice little coin purse out of his ball-bag. He can keep his drum key in it.
On Saturday February 13th, Hoy Hoy! will break the seal on a new Rock and Rhythm venue at The Rex Hotel, Richmond Rd.