Hark the Hairy Angels sing ... it's nearly fukken Christmas and I STILL haven't done my new year's resolutions ... from last year. It's no wonder I get nothing done - I've got no resolve. Oh well... who cares, anyway?

Now, even if you are a miserable no-friend arsehole like me you will surely find something of interest in this list, even if it is just the bad grammar. Did I ever tell you about my bad Grammar? She was evil. She would slip the tongue in even if it was just a little peck on the powdery cheek. And she used to put her senna pod leaf in the tea caddy. Gave the whole family the squirts for weeks after she'd gone home. Now.. where was I?  Gigs! Here's the brief:

Christmas Shows with Amber Joy and the Holy Men; pan!c; Sweet Baby James; Spank You Very Much; Hoy Hoy! the Streamlilners and Double Wammy - a week of fantastic December fun

First up is Amber Joy Poulton and the Holy Men having a rockin' Christmas party this Friday,  December 11, at the Two Wells RSL. Amber recently won the SA Achiever Award and also picked up the APRA Traditional Country Song of the Year Award with Good Old Fashioned Days, from her recent CD release, Taking Goodbye.She and the Holy Men will be doing a bit of the Honky Tonk Angels show and spicing up the evening with some jolly Chrissy songs. And then having a fight in the car park.

NO! Not really. well ... maybe just a little push and shove and a bit of shirt pulling. That's the sort of fights we have.  The show - the one in the RSL, not the show in the carpark later - includes Christmas Carols and  a display of Rock and Roll dancing.

Contact the RSL for more details:  Tony  Flaherty 0412 773 111; e-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
Two Wells RSL OFFICE PHONE:          (08) 8520 2826

Saturday December 12 will see pan!c grace the stage of the Daniel O'Connell Hotel in North Adelaide. It is always fun at the Dan, especially when pan!c is at the wheel. Live music starts jumping from 9.00 pm. pan!c is the lively three-piece plays 80' and 90's pop like it should be played - with a lemon meringue pie! Hang on...that can't be right... I stated thinking aboutpan!c playing with 'panache', got granash in the mix, from there i went to hazelnut praline - for some reason - and that led to the pie shop...ahhh, that's how i got to the lemon meringue pie. Simple when you take a moment to look at it.

 Sunday December 13 and the Lighthouse Hotel plays host to Amber Joy Poulton and The Holy Fukken shit did you see that? you didn't ? Oh well. She covered up pretty quickly. What was I saying? The Holy Men - that's right - and Amber Fluid Pool Table all acoustical and lovely on a Sunday afternoon. Then having a fight in the car park. Amber cranks up her tonsils at 4.00 pm and arcs up her knuckles for a stoush at around 7. I have posted (on the left)  a photo of Amber Joy having a lie down because she is so tired from making all her hit records and getting all them awards. 

 Also sunday December 13, the Wine Underground in Pirie Street will have the slick and shiny Streamliners on stage. Doors open around 4-is fo a 5-ish kick off. 

Classified advertisement:  One slightly used 11-hole golf course for sale or lease to discriminating player. Holes vary from par 2 to par 7 or 8, fairways in good condition, the occasional water hazard and a few leg-traps.  Putting greens are spread around town a bit but a keen player could sink a few balls in a day. For those with great stamina the course can double its challenge – once you work your way through the front 11 holes you can flip them over and play the back 11. Phone for details: Tiger Woods.

MORE GIGS!!!!

Thursday December  17 has Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers at the Gilbert Hotel, Gilbert St, the City. Hear the lads play some ripping blues and roots music. And then have a fight in the car park.

Friday December 18 is time to get a rigorous Christmas butt-slapping with "Spank You Very Much at the Gov."  More fun than a jelly enema, Spank You Very Much will take you on a mirth-filled musical journey to the last bus stop. After that, the bus has to go back to the depot and unfortunately is not allowed to carry passengers so you may need to call a cab.   Anyway … the first link you need is Moshtix:  http://www.moshtix.com.au/Event.aspx?id=29306&pLock=&vip=&skin=&ref=
Then facebook: Try this: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=136159037674
And the Gov: http://www.thegov.com.au/gig-guide.html

 
Sunday 20th December Hoy-Hoy!  Will be blowing down the walls of the Brahma Lodge Hotel. Check out Hoy-Hoy! Here: http://hoyhoymusic.com/ and treat yourself to the band’s new Birthday celebration DVD.

On the same day, Sunday December 20, Double Wammy will be at the Christmas Special at the Wine Underground. Don’t expect Santa to come down the chimney for that event, he’s had a bad vasectomy and pretty mad about it so he’s crapping down chimneys instead. And doing widdles in them satellite dish things.

LOOKING AHEAD

December 26 and Double Wammy has a gig pencilled in at the Wheatsheaf Hotel, Thebarton

1st january (2010) will see Hoy-Hoy! rocking at the Semaphore Workers Club

nd the 1st of January also sees Warp Factor 3 at the Norwood Hotel.