As an educational medium TV is second place only to whatever is in front of it. The things I have learned from the teeva would fill an ashtray or something. Thanks to Master Chef – the strangely competitive cooking show – I no longer fear the Mystery Box.
Still waiting to be paid for gigs, I was Mother Hubbarded:  the pantry was empty as politician’s promise. I had  no bread for toast  - not even the end pieces - and then I was presented with the Mystery Box - an empty Coco-pops packet.  Things were looking shittier than Tony Abbot's back after a bike ride through a cow paddock. But was I fazed? A' course I fukken was. I started to scream, cry and bash things- the jug, the empty Tupperware biscuit container, the toaster – the toaster!!   That's when my Master Chef skills came to the rescue. Fast forward to my MChef presentation: When you have guests for breakfast - or want to treat yourself - but are a little short on posh and trendy victuals such as omelettes, croissant, sardines, dangleberry muffins and the like, you can whip up a nourishing Scottish crofter’s porridge using no more than a toaster, the jug and a leftover sugar sachet. Merely set the jug to boil, undo the bottom of the toaster and out will fall – in my case, anyway – a cup and a half of oft-toasted breadcrumbs. A fukken’ bounty of the stuff! Place breadcrumbs in a bowl and cover with enough boiling water to turn into slurry. Season with a pinch of salt and add sugar to taste.  Yum! I live to wait another day for my money.

Meanwhile, here’s some gigs you should be getting along to.

The fisrt one is Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers  at the Gilbert Street Hotel on Thursday May 20. It’s free and the grub at the Gilbert is sweet as.

Friday, May 21, get your arses over to the Wheatsheaf Hotel at Thebarton for a rootin’, tootin’ knees up with Honky Tonk Angels. Presented by Amber Joy Poulton and the Holy Men, Honky Tonk Angels is the Loretta Lynn story done in two fifty minute sets – the whole fukken shootin' match from birth to death. Oh.... I know Loretta Lynn’s not dead yet but she was looking a bit shaky when I seen her at the vet’s last week. Now, it’s a ticketed show because there’s sort of dress-up and goofy stuff going on but really, it’s worth the ticket price just to see The Preacher looking like an overstuffed beanbag and acting the goat.

Saturday night, May 22, you’ve got pan!c at the  Daniel O’Connell Hotel in North Adelaide. It’s always fun at the Dan and it’s another joint that does a good bar nosh-up that won’t jostle the overdraft too much. The joint starts jumping at 9 pm.

Saturday Night, May 22 will also see the  Steve Brown Band at the Bacchus Bar, Henley Beach.  Brownie is in top form pushing out his smoky blues and RnB and the band is crack! And you get a great view of the arse end of the Surf Clubhouse from the Bacchus bar patio. That's Brownie over there on the right. 

I am Argus.. i see afar,  and I see afar, afar away,  but not too far... no, no... not that far... just as far as Sunday May 30, I see Neil Murray in his only Adelaide show, live and intimate in the plush surrounds of the Promethean. Neil Murray is an original singer/songwriter with a unique style and has worked with many artists, such as Sammy Butcher, George Rrurrambu, (The Warumpi Band), Christine Anu, The Rainmakers, Archie Roach, Amy Saunders, Tiddas, Jim Moginie, Midnight Oil, Shane Howard, Kev Carmody,Tonchi McIntosh, Carus Thompson, Sara Storer, Dave Johnson along with many others that helped to shape his music (I pinched all that. Not the Argus bit, that was mine.). Go here for more info: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118861904796024&index=1 (the fukken link thing on this website won't work so you'll have to cut and paste that address.). The show is set to run 7.30-10 pm... plus Prom will take email and phone boookings ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ) or phone 8212 0266.

Murray will be suported by Touché and helped along with the JAPEG Back Riders - Richard Coates (Huckleberry Swedes, Sex Robots Dolls, etc);  Denis Surmon (Double Wammy!, Blues Avenue Trio) and  Trevor 'Trapper' Draper (Hoy-Hoy!, Chain-Adelaide, etc). Lead-off duo Touché (Tess Coleman, Michael Liddle) will return to the stage to help mount a grand finale for the evening.

Information by coutesy of JAPEG -  Jeff's Adelaide & Places Elsewhere Group