Seems like there’s a gap just opened in the weird cult market that needs filling -  and I’ve got just the thing. It’s the Wheel-of-Misfortune-Doomsday Cult. It’s run by me; I will be chief guru and look after all the money and ammo and bombs and stuff. I won’t be so stupid as to hide the ammo and explosives in the bedstead - the top of the wardrobe was good enough for my old man’s Razzle mags so it’s enough for me. Now to the  business side:  you join  by paying money to me that will go to avert any of a number of doomsdays that will be chosen by a chocolate wheel system. Given that the daily paper tries to frighten us shitlesss with a new doomsday scenario every day of the fukken week, you need a cult game-plan that can cater to many possible armageddons. I have already started on the  chocolate wheel (see photo) and will use the  first donations to finish it off and get a little clacker thing on the side. Some of doomsdays already on the wheel are: the illegal immigrant doomsday; the end-of-minig-because-of-mining-tax doomsday, the teacher’s pay rise doomsday; the workers’ pay rise doomsday; the pension rise doomsday; the no-shopping-on-Easter-Friday doomsday; the great shortage of wombat-flu injections doomsday;. You see... I’ll bet you’re starting to freak out already. But wait, there’s more – I have also gathered ... er... divined... some lower-target doomsdays designed to show the flock some goal achievement progress; Sort of like milestones or, as we corporates like to say, KPI’s. These include the car-shitting-itself doomsday;  hot water system busting doomsday; the computer-crash-hard-drive-wipeout doomsday; the rego-and-comprehensive-insurance-in-the-same-month doomsday, the gas-and-electricity-bill doomsday; the unpaid-parking-fines doomsday... eh? Eh? Now I’ve got your attention, eh??? You’d better send your money to me in a plain envelope – pretty smartly - and I’ll send you a disciple diploma in the mail. Dont send your house or car in the mail – sell the fukekrs first then send me the dough and I’ll make sure you get a really cracking spin on the Doomsday Chocolate Wheel of Misfortune. If you have any questions about how I'm gonna sort out your doomsday send me a post card in a month or so - i'll be browning meself somewere in the Cocopops Islands.

Christ-on-a-skateboard, that took some telling. Good thing too because I’m a little light on gig info this week. But high on quality:

First up we have Hoy Hoy with guest sax/harmonica player Richie Squires at the Semaphore Worker’s Club on Friday Night, May 28. The Semaphore Workers Club is the Home of Roots and Blues Music in South Australia.

Sunday May 30 Coopers 1862 Bar (The Wine Underground, Pirie Street, the city)  will feature live Roots and Blues music from 5 till 8 pm.   Then... 

 The big one is Sunday May 30 – Neil Murray at the Promethean.       

 Following details by courtesy JAPEG newsletter.)

Neil Murray is one of Australia’s most original and respected singer-songwriters. His only Adelaide concert on Sun 30th May follows the release of his outstanding new 'Witness' album, with wonderfully-backed tracks produced by Jim Migonie and which are gaining considerable airplay, especially on the ABC.
 
Neil is well known as a founding member of the Warumpi Band and for having written the classic song “My Island Home”, 1995 APRA Song Of The Year, also performed by Christine Anu at the closing ceremony of the Sydney 2000 Olympics. Since 1989, besides writing three books, he has released 10 solo albums holding songs and word-pieces that display his affinity for our land and its peoples.
 
He enjoys a reputation as a very striking live performer in musical styles that vary between what might be called country-rock-folk-blues-indigenous-roots, perhaps best described as "uniquely Australian".
 
Neil's 'JAPEG-Active' concert in the comfort, plush surrounds and accoustic splendour of The Promethean will start with a warm-up set from flute-guitar-vocals duo Touché (members Tess Coleman and Michael Liddle).
Murray will take to the stage in solo acoustic mode, featuring a selection from the 'Witness' album as well as 'old faves' and 'specials'.  For the third part of teh show, he will be backed by top Adelaide musicians (and JAPEGers) Denis Surmon (bass), Trevor Draper (drums) and Richard Coates (accordion/grand piano). Touché will return to the stage to provide extra vocals and instrumentation towards a grand finale.

ADVANCE BOOKINGS / ISSUE OF TICKETS

For JAPEG-gers;  Folks had better get a move on if they are to take advantage of concessional ticket offers (close this Fri 28/5!) and if "we" (JAPEG-gers) are to stand a chance of filling The Prom ahead of public bookings and door sales (capacity 120).
 
Firm bookings at the concessional rate of $20 ($18 for students / seniors) can be made up to 12 mn Fri 28/5 by contacting JAPEG:   This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

 From Sat 29/5 on, you could reserve full-price tickets ($22/20) by contacting The Promethean by phone or email (you'd need to be there by 7.15 to pay and collect) or purchase at The Prom door on the night (providing spare tickets remain).

Contact: The Promethean
116 Grote Street, Adelaide
P 08 8212 0266 F 08 8212 0966
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www.theprom.com.au
Mike Thomas
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 Coming up: Honky Tonk Angels - the Loretta Lynn Story at the Stonyfell Winerey - June 4 

Dinner and Show - that's right, you dont have to bring sandwiches and a hip flask - tap your boots along to the songs of Loretta, Tammy, Dolly, Melinda (Schnieder), Conway Twitty and the ever-popular Many Moore. Call 8332 5582 to book. Do it NOW! You know what you're like once you start fukking around on the interweb. Go here for more info: http://www.stonyfellfunctioncentre.com.au/events.asp