Cold weather irks me a little; me nut bag and the bachelor’s best friend shrivel to comical proportions.  Well... tragi-comical proportions, in my case. Sitting at a bus-stop shivering near to death in the predawn chill, I was joined by a shabbily hale Harry Ramp - a gentleman of downsized socio-economic status.
“Good morning, my domestically and industrially shackled fellow,” he said cheerily, eyeballing my brass plated wedding ring and tin-plated industrial shackles. “ There’s a bit of a former inexpensive but reliable transistor radio manufacturer in the air, eh what?”
“Colder than Maggie Thatcher’s minge, I reckon,” I whinged.
“That, my good fellow, would be colder than a lawyer’s handshake,” He replied. “It’s nippy, but not that cold. You are suffering somewhat, I see, from the gelid atmospheric conditions....”
“I’m freezin’ me fukkin nuts off!  Even with me Damarts on!”
“Ah, the thermal undergarments are marvellous but they do have their stall angle.  In conditions such as this,” he went on, shooing away a pack of polar bears, “...I resort to Geo-thermal underwear.”
“Geo-thermal underwear?”
“Yes. I simply drop a bundle of hot rocks in my underduds and it keeps my testicles warm for some reasonable time. Here we go... Grunt... Ahhhhh,  Gruunt... Ahhhh, Ohhh, and AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH!!! There... toasty as roasted chestnuts they are now.”
I started walking before the smell hit me.
Now to other entertainments....

Wednesday evening at the Whitmore. Mike and the Minge Mechanics (I don’t know the name of the band and I’m too lazy to look it up) will be a gettin’ it on with some blues and RnB and even some Santana I am told.

Friday... I reckon Slow Poke is at the Whitmore.You'd think I'd get off me arse and check this stuff but I'm in a couldn't-give-a -fuk-mood today. i'll come back to this tomorrow and make some corrections or something. Or not.

Saturday... the grousies are doing a private show so mind your fukken business. I can say that it is for a well-known drummer who plays in a very well-known band and whom is turning a very well-known number of years old. And we're gonna let him play his not-so-well-known percussion set and it's gonna be more fun than a face-full of acne and a clean mirror in the bathroom.

   Sunday August 1 – yes, It’s August already! The Wine Underground, Pirie Street, the City,  has live Blues and Roots music from 5 pm till 8 pm. Once again, I couldn't be arsed finding out who is on. Somebody really good, though. But. Still.

And the gig of the month – DOUBLE WAMMY will be a ripping the bag at the Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore on Sunday August 1. If you’ve never experienced the Power Soul kick in the guts of Double Wammy you’re in for a treat – if you can get your breath back after your first decent kicking. And the Semaphore Workers Club is the HOME – I said THE home – the living quarters – the RESIDENCE of Blues and Roots music in South Australia. Double Wammy will be ready to kick your guts in at sometime shortly – or longly – after 5 pm.