What Ho! I do enjoy a good What Ho! And I also enjoy some good roots. Roots music that is. Ha fukken ha. 

All right. I'll get on with it.

Saturday October 22 Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers at Cushdy. 

The Whitmore Hotel  has The Bluescasters Saturday Oct 22…

And on Wednesday Oct 26: Blues Playoff: Ol Gray Mule and CW Ayon from the USA VS Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers from Australia (FREE) as part of the SA Blues and Roots Festival.

Tuesday Oct 25: Raw Jam (folk)

The Wheatie has Cal Williams Jr Album Launch October 22;

and on Sunday October 23: The Yearlings Plus The Lloyd Wei.

Folk Federation Gigs: Saturday October 22 - A Taste of Tamworth.

Put two Golden Guitar Winners together in one big concert, and you’ve got a Taste of Tamworth at its best. Golden Guitar Winners – Brendon Walmsley and Carter & Carter team up to give you ‘A Taste Of Tamworth’ you’ll never forget.

A lack of Royal Presence

I would be happy – for a large and handsome quantity of largesse - to put on one of my crowns and ponce around the city for a while, bestowing benevolence and vacuous aphorisms before fukking off into the wide and nicer blue yonder. I am quayte experienced at it, having done it many times when I was a queen remotely ruling over some colonial shit-hole somewhere. When I say I was a Queen I was actually more like a King but I don’t think we have them anymore… and the young kiddies reading this might not know what a King is; they are not popular these days.

Anyway, when I was the ruling regent I remember visiting one of my hellish colonial outposts and being shoved down the street to talk to the commoners. What a shit gig that was. On the particular time that springs to mind, I recall speaking to an emaciated specimen with an empty coffee tin in from of him.

“And what is it you do?” Ay enquayered, in my best ‘queen of the realm’ accent.

“I beg for food and money, Ma’am,” croaked the commoner.

“How nayce. And do you enjoy your work?”

“Not really.”

“Then why do you do it, mae good man….”

“Because the corporate legal and social structure put in place and gerrymandered by the government of this country favours the upward and outward expansion of the coffers of the wealthy and powerful while stifling competition and challenge from below.”

“How marvellous. So you had a go, then... but didn’t succeed?”

“That’s correct, Ma’am. The police force’s allegiance to the rich and powerful saw me imprisoned along with my family, many of whom died in the appalling conditions. And now, homeless and branded as a reactionary and dangerous, I cannot get a proper job nor am I entitled to welfare.”

“I see what you say, mae good chappie, but I also see a person who is allowing some minor obstacles to appear so large as to be a hindrance to his path in life. I suggest you stop begging and start to take what you want in this life my good man. That’s what Ay do. Cheerio.”

The revolution that overthrew the government and burned the city’s ivory towers got under way even before I had returned to my luxury hotel. I only just made it out of the country before they got around to slapping me with shoes and shooting my guts to ribbons.

These days I shrink from giving such advice to commoners but I still, however, have a couple of the crowns I used to wear to lord it over the poor fukkers and make the rich sods kowtow to have their grasping mandates endorsed so I would be only too, too happy to dust a couple of them orf and ponce around if you would give me lots of gold and jewels and kiss my ring.