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A little bit of blues coming your way Print E-mail
Tuesday, 01 April 2014

An interesting week...


Sample ImageWednesday April 2 ELEANOR MCEVOY will perform at the first House Concert to be held at JAPEG’s residence. The event sold out quickly but if you know JAPEG you may like to call him to see if any cancellations have cropped up.

Other ELEANOR MCEVOY gigs are:

   Thursday April 3 - South Coast Folk Club Port Noralunga
   Friday April 4 - Courthouse Auburn
   Saturday April 5  - Song Room at Barossa Regional Gallery Tanunda
   Sunday April 6 - Singing Gallery at McLaren Vale

 

 

 

Sample ImageThursday, April 3, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the Gilbert Street Hotel  –7pm

 And......

 
Friday, April 4, SWEET BABY JAMES & ROB EYERS at the Whitmore Hotel –9pm *** AMENDMENT - NOW SATURDAY APRIL 5! For less money, apparently! The joint must be run by Abbott and Hockem of Caligula and Co - all australian workers must accept lower pay and/or drop dead!

 

 

 

 
Sample ImageSunday April 6 The Semaphore Workers Club presents The Semaphore Workers Club Blues Band who will be playing some blues, the whole blues, and nuthin’ but the blues at the Semaphore Workers Cub.
The Semaphore Workers Club Blues Band is Jesse Deane Freeman; Steve Smith; Frank Lang and Mario Marino.

 

 

Sample ImageApril 13 Red Hot Blues Band at the Lord Melbourne Hotel … featuring the mighty lips of Dave Mighty Blight; the slippery fingers of Sweet Baby James Meston and Denis the Preacher Surmon and four of the five bodily appendages of Rob Eyers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageApril 7, 8-12pm., Big Smoke will be playing at The Cumberland Newport Hotel. Blues, Roots and Originals. Big smoke is now on facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Red Hot at the Semaphore Workers Club (April 18)  deferred to August 1. Apparently the Oestrogen Bunny doesn't like no red hot blues playing 'round there on Easter Friday.

Sample ImageFriday April 18th the Red Hot Blues band at the Semaphore Workers Club. Easter Friday, I think, so bring hot cross buns. I like the ones with fruit and I like ‘em with butter and vegemite. Thanks.

 Sample Image

 

 

Sheerluck Fukken Holmes and the sale of assets

“Watson, the reason I have invited you to my rooms is that  I am about to make a substantial purchase and I would like you to be witness to my bold step into the world of big… nay, Watson… fukken big business.”
“I say, Holmes; I hope it is a momentous occasion, I had some difficulty getting away from the Little Wife; she’s is a little …er…. temperamental at the moment.”
“She’s taking the angry bike for a spin, is she, eh, Watson? Well, old man, you are welcome to stay here until the painters have left.”
“No, no. When you take a wife you agree to take the bad along with the irrational violence and unpredictable frothing fury. But thank you, Holmes. Now, what is this purchase you are undertaking;  property speculation?”
“Think big, Watson; think about a license to print money forever. Here… just a moment while I open up Victorian eRa eBay…  it takes a while with these steam-driven search engines. Might as well put on the kettle and have a cone or two of baccy while we wait.”
Thirty minutes later….”Ah, Watson, here it is. For Sale…. States’ assets including water supply and traffic infrastructure. National and state rail and ports on different listing. All assets used to some degree and in fair to good condition; some dents and scratches. Colonial vendor with paid-for degree in economics. Pick-up only; no postage.”
“Good Lord, Holmes. What sort of idiots would sell their national and state assets after having gone to the trouble and expense of creating them?”
“Watson, the sort of idiots Oxford produces when it is given damaged raw material to start with.”
“But what do you intend to do with these things, Holmes? What can you do with a road traffic infrastructure?”
“Watson, sometimes I am truly convinced you are as thick as a boxing day turd. You merely put a toll booth at either end and possibly part way in between and tax the poor fukkers that use ‘em coming and going.  It doesn’t matter what you pay for the stuff when you count the number of crossings on any day and multiply that by two or even three golden sovereigns; you’ll end up so rich you could afford to have someone shit for you, old Son!”
“But, Holmes, you don’t have any money to buy these things.”
“No need to have much money, Watson. They are selling these things at give-away prices. I simply put a deposit on the sale to claim it while I arrange …heh heh… ‘bank finance’. So then I’ve got 21 days to pay the rest. Meanwhile… in the first day I own the fukn things I will earn about a million sovereigns…. By the end of the first week…. About 7 or 8 milion sovereigns – weekends are pretty busy, Watson – lots of working folk go the beach or the country for their Sunday rest day. So…. In 21 days I could have earned as much as 30 million sovereigns. That would completely cover the purchase price without actually having to borrow any money at all! And there is nothing else to do for the rest of the year but collect the next 300 or so million sovereigns. Then there is the year after and the year after…  and so on….”
“I say, Holmes. Does that eBay thing identify the moron who is selling this valuable stuff for a veritable chicken’s quoit cough?”
“The vendor has a username Watson…. Here it is: Joe the Hocker. He works for Caligula the mad Colonial Emperor in the Antipodes … see, that there is the name of the eBay shop – Caligula’s Colonial Chop Shop – Everything Must Go. Now… here’s the exciting bit, Watson. We are down to the last minute and the bids are going in. There’s mine!”
“What’s that, Old Man? Something happened to your bid.”
“Yes, someone has topped my bid, Watson. But I’m ready to go again. There!”
“Ohh, Holmes… he’s gone over the top of yours again -  by ten pounds!”
“Yes! Well… here’s a higher bid with 55 pence added…. See if he was ready for that!”
“Holmes…there’s only seconds to go….”
“Watson, put some more coal in the search engine firebox! Faster! There…my last bid went in with three seconds to go!  AHHHHHH… FUK!”
“What happened, Holmes?”
“Whoever I was bidding against had an automatic riser on their bid to top any other bid by ten pounds. It was as good as rigged from the start… whoever it was must have shitloads of money, My Good Fellow.”
“I say, Holmes. Dashed bad luck. Can we see who the winning bidder was?”
“You can sometimes tell by their user name. Here it is… it seems they are a consortium of colonial banks operating in the Australia and New Zealand region. Ah well….There are still the other listings to have a look at. Here….  I put a starting bid on this new-fangled thing they are trying to get rid of Down Under… it’s called an airport. I’ve got a bid in for one of them against some Scottish twat called MacQuarie; a kilted porridge slurper with a dead badger as a codpiece should be a pushover, Watson.”

 
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