"Holy Tomatoes, Slugman... Did you see that Double Wammy is playing a gig ONE WEEK AFTER they played their previous gig?"    

"I did see that, Boy Tadger-Tonker. What the fuck's going on? Looks like we're going to hell in a fucked-up Bongmobile if those clowns can get two gigs a week apart!"

AS we leave the diurnal duo to ponder the state of things that has spawned a Double Wammy led micro-recovery, a neon sign flashed noiselessly in the dark night sky. It read:  Dou le  ammy pl y th Semap or W  kers Club (some of the neon tubes are out) on Fr d y M rch 6.

A crowd gathered below.  "That's pretty shit," said one less-than-overwhelmed onloooker. "I'd rather listen to the fukken voices in me fukken head than read what that fukken sign is supposed to be telling us, which is - if I'm getting this fukken straight: Double Wammy Plays the Semaphore Workers' Club on Friday March 6!"

"I say!" said a distinguished looking gentleman with a Biggles moustache,  "I hear voices in my arse and they are telling me that the Double Wammy band drops the puck around 9 pm to instigate the evening's entertainment."

Just then, a black Mercedes ute with a gatling gun mounted on the tray careened around the corner while the gunner, strapped to an old galvanised tin Esky,  fed ten yards of dum-dums into the breech of the death-dealing racket-mill. "Die! You poncey music-loving wankers!" he screamed. His violently gushing spittle clouded his vision and drizzled onto the weapon, sliming his grip. His finger skidded over the trigger and he poured the first nine yards of lead in the cabin of the ute. The driver vaporised in a red mist.

"Oops," muttered the surprised gunner as the driverless ute slammed into a stobie pole, buckled like a fortune cookie and erupted in flames. 

A mongrel dog turned its head to watch the gruesome conflagration while it hunched on its haunches and done a poo on the footpath.

"I say!" said the distinguished looking gentleman with the Biggles moustache and the voices in his arse.

The end.

    ... at the Sempahore Workers' Club. Friday. March 6.