Right, get your helmets, groin and chest protectors on. Double Wammy is making a mighty and long-awaited return to the  Semaphore Workers Club this Friday night, May 8. That's right, after an abcess of six whole weeks or so, Double Wammy is back and they mean business. Well, sort of ... small business. You know. A part-time business. Not really a business, more like a... a hobby. Yes. That's what it is. Double Wammy is back and they mean Hobby!  So, If you're the sort of person that wouldn't mind a night-time hobby - other than fiddling with your private parts under the blankets -  or even if you have a hobby-horse that needs whipping or knackering, we will see you on Friday night at the Semaphore Workers Club, the Home of Blues and Roots Music in South Australia. Double Wammy kicks off around 9-pm but we'll all be there long before then. Drop in. Come up and say hello. But be careful which one of us you talk to, some of us can be a bit... er... taciturn if approached suddenly.

The Grouse, on the other hand, will be gleefully and artfully rocking way at Finn McCools this Friday night, May the 8th. With the impressive monolith of Stuart Bad Hair Day at the helm, Rob The Mangler Boundy on the paddles and Quinton Well Dunne wrestling with the rudder, it will be song after song, tune after tune and so on and so forth. Live music starts at 9 and finishes at one am. I Should also point out that as of then, The Grouse is the only band to still be the Grouse for longer than any other. And that has to be a WORLD RECORD!!!! You heard it first, right here on FM BlueRing.

And then, as if to utter the ridiculous - pink otters with three bums may be gay on Thursdays after high tea. There, I've uttered the ridiculous.

However, what I meant to say was that The Grouse - a four-piece variation of the animal - will be playing a private show at the Brighton Seaclife Yacht Club on Saturdee night. Oh yes. it will be all bell-bottoms and plimsolls when the nautical Grousies go the heave-ho after taking turns in the barrel. Shiver me timbers and keelhaul me giblets, we'll be spanking our pontoons and yanking the bouys as we.... as we.... I am well aware that we are only playing at the yacht club function room so pull your head in and let me prattle on. Anyway, I said it was a private show and you're not fukken invited! So go and dip your eye in parrot shit.  Now, where was I? Oh yes... Ho, Ho, that's not a yardarm, it's only a foot! Is that the captain's mess or was it a seagull chucked up in the cabin-boy's crows nest? Blow me down and Pipe me binnacle, yer greasy landlubbers, there's Klingons on the starboard bow. Hey Ho and up she fukken risesssssssss.......