Firstly... those Kings of Swing Blues Avenue will be swinging like two balls in a woollen sock next Wednesday May 27 at The Wheatsheaf Hotel, Thebarton. As well as dancin' and hollerin' and generally having more fun than putting senna pods in grandad's tea and locking the dunny door, it's free. Eff-fukkin'-arrr-eeeee. Now, that's a deal you couldn't beat with six numbers and a fukkin' supp! SO, It's locked in then??? Wednesday at the Wheatie? Eh? Blues Avenue, James Sweet Baby Meston and Denis The Preacher Surmon, swingin' the blues like a newton's cradle. Only bigger - but with not as many balls. well.... you know what I mean.
Second, here's one for the hicks that put the 'tree' in country... Honky Tonk Angels - the Loretta Lynn Show - will be launching at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival Fringe. Two nights (June 18 and 20) are booked at the Prometheum - shit, i just spat out my best tooth trying to pronounce Promethhhherum - Promeethththth - bugger-it; a joint down on Grote Street the address of which I will supply when I find my tooth. But if you have any liking for or interest in the First Crowned Queen of Country Music book yourself some good seats to see Amber Poulton and the Country Members - yes, I'm sure you remember - at the Promeeethhthteean - the...Pro-meetthhththth. Ahh, fukkit! Click this link to see the flyer: Honky Tonk Angels at the Cabaret Festival Fringe. I'm not going to try to say The Promeeaththththpppth - the Prrmmmththt... FththFFuggit. Here's the details: The Promethean (Grote Street), Book at Bass 121 246 orwww.bass.net.au , Tickets $18 cheap!
Now... have you booked your tickets for Walking The LIne - Australia's Number 1 Johnny Cash Show at the Stonyfell Winery on Friday May 29? No! Well, get a fukkin' move on - those tickets won't book themselves!!! It will be a night to remember - especially if you get into a fight and lose a thong or get your t-shirt torn. But you'll have to wear something better than a Target t-shirt - it's a pretty posh do with a three-course meal tossed in. That's right; there's first course, second course and third course. And for the lucky ones there's intercourse later but, please not in the car park. Until we all get there! Ha fukkin' Ha!! Here's the booking details (below), now get your finger out - you said you wanted to get out more often and meet new people; have a bit of fun now that the kids are off your hands, doing 3-6 years in Mobilong.
Walking The LIne - Australia's Number 1 Johnny Cash Show at the Stonyfell Winery on Friday May 29
Bookings: (08) 8332 5582 Mobile: 0411 028 917 Email:
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Stonyfell Function Centre PO Box 320 Burnside SA 5066
Tick here for meal options: Yes please, I would like the three-course dinner but can I put a hold on the fourth course until I see who I'm going with?
And lastly... Wingnut has been digging in the rubbish dump again and has some things to show you. He's been getting out a bit since he had a tail transplant. What? Didn't you know? His tail was docked at birth and it was never a problem till some old bag up in North Adelaide chewed my arse about tail docking cruelty and all that so we simply got him a tail transplant. Cost a fukkin' packet and we had to chop a tail off some other hound but at least Wingnut's got his ringpiece duster back. And one old battle-axe has to bite her tongue when he's out pissing on their rosemary hedges with his new tail in the air. Anyway, here's what he found in the dump; it's a stinky little thing about Simon and Garfinkel:
Then there was this other thing he overheard while he was rolling in the putrid carcase of a dead blue-tongue lizard at the golf course the other week: Local impressario Ivan Tanner was playing golf with one of the guys from The Angels - John Brewster Jones I reckon it was - when he overheard this snappy repartee tossed around over some particularly difficult golf hits with a noblick or something. Ivan says, when Brewster asked his advice on the 9th tee, "Hmmm “Take a Long Line “”. And then, when Brewster Jones sunk a 20 foot putt on the 13th green, Tanner tops that by spitting out: ””No way, get fucked , fuck off “ to which Brewster replied ""No secrets" to it, Stretch, it's just talent!" or someting like that.
Now... I know what you're thinking, but... Wingnut wouldn't lie. Well, yes. He does. He tells some fukkin' shockers. But you must agree, as a lame intro to re-posting this sad parody - - it's up there with "And now here's the world's greatest talk show host - Rove."
Firstly... those Kings of Swing Blues Avenue will be swinging like two balls in a woollen sock next Wednesday May 27 at The Wheatsheaf Hotel, Thebarton. As well as dancin' and hollerin' and generally having more fun than putting senna pods in grandad's tea and locking the dunny door, it's free. Eff-fukkin'-arrr-eeeee. Now, that's a deal you couldn't beat with six numbers and a fukkin' supp! SO, It's locked in then??? Wednesday at the Wheatie? Eh? Blues Avenue, James Sweet Baby Meston and Denis The Preacher Surmon, swingin' the blues like a newton's cradle. Only bigger - but with not as many balls. well.... you know what I mean.
Second, here's one for the hicks that put the 'tree' in country... Honky Tonk Angels - the Loretta Lynn Show - will be launching at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival Fringe. Two nights (June 18 and 20) are booked at the Prometheum - shit, i just spat out my best tooth trying to pronounce Promethhhherum - Promeethththth - bugger-it; a joint down on Grote Street the address of which I will supply when I find my tooth. But if you have any liking for or interest in the First Crowned Queen of Country Music book yourself some good seats to see Amber Poulton and the Country Members - yes, I'm sure you remember - at the Promeeethhthteean - the...Pro-meetthhththth. Ahh, fukkit! Click this link to see the flyer: 
Now... have you booked your tickets for Walking The LIne - Australia's Number 1 Johnny Cash Show at the Stonyfell Winery on Friday May 29? No! Well, get a fukkin' move on - those tickets won't book themselves!!! It will be a night to remember - especially if you get into a fight and lose a thong or get your t-shirt torn. But you'll have to wear something better than a Target t-shirt - it's a pretty posh do with a three-course meal tossed in. That's right; there's first course, second course and third course. And for the lucky ones there's intercourse later but, please not in the car park. Until we all get there! Ha fukkin' Ha!! Here's the booking details (below), now get your finger out - you said you wanted to get out more often and meet new people; have a bit of fun now that the kids are off your hands, doing 3-6 years in Mobilong.
Wingnut has been digging in the rubbish dump again and has some things to show you. He's been getting out a bit since he had a tail transplant. What? Didn't you know? His tail was docked at birth and it was never a problem till some old bag up in North Adelaide chewed my arse about tail docking cruelty and all that so we simply got him a tail transplant. Cost a fukkin' packet and we had to chop a tail off some other hound but at least Wingnut's got his ringpiece duster back. And one old battle-axe has to bite her tongue when he's out pissing on their rosemary hedges with his new tail in the air. Anyway, here's what he found in the dump; it's a stinky little thing about Simon and Garfinkel: 