BLACK is the colour of my true love's eye, in the morning, when we rise; we had another stoush and I just let fly... etc, etc. But you should see the other guy... Me!! She stabbed me in the back with my barbecue fork just before I passed out. I was so elephant's trunk I didn't notice it was stuck there. Still, everyone got a good night's rest - I only snore when I'm sleeping on me back and that was obviously a bit uncomfortable - even as deeply refreshed as I was.

Now... why did I go and tell you all that?  Don't tell anyone else, will ya? Or I'll lhave the freakin' social jerkers on me fuggin' case agen. I was going to tell you about BLACK - The Lighter Side of Johnny Cash - the fabulous new musical theatre thing that hit - no.... walloped the stage last Satdy night at the Golden Grove Arts Theatre. It went down like a stubbie after a curry! It went down lilke a deep throat on a hot dog sossidge. It was so good, there wasn't a dry gusset in the room when we'd finished (including my own Y-frunts - I'd gargled a six pack at the interval and was dancing like an electrocuted cat until the dam burst half way through the second encore. Messy, but once it got away from me I thought: "Ahhh... why not let it all go?'

BLACK, presented by Walking The Line, Australia's Number One Johnny Cash Showband, stars Rohan Powell As Johnny Cash and Amber Joy Poulton as June Carter, and tells - in song and algebraic equations -  the sad tale of tale of the little dial-a-plumber boy and the princess whose toilet got blocked with sanitary napkins during a particularly heavy period and it backed up all over the .... hey!  wait a minute. That's not the Johnny Cash show story!

BLACK is all about Mr Cash's fascination with death, drugs, prison and stuff like that, and he goes on about singing grim songs with dark, unsettling humour while June nags like a toothache, telling him: "Lighten up, fer fuck's sake, Johnny - you miserable Sad Sack! Pull yer head outer yer arse and see the freakin' daylight! WAKE UP AND SMELL WAYLON'S GANGRENE!"... or something like that.

Anyway.... now, you - those of youse who missed the last show show - will have the opportunity to also pulsate with the vi-bo-rations of dark BLACK ecstacy this Friday July 31 or Saturday August 1 when BLACK - The LIghter Side of Johnny Cash plays in a venue nearer to you! Especially if you live near Port Noarlunga on Friday ( Port Noarlunga Art Centre - where culture is more than mouldy bread) and, if you live up a bit, left a bit, down a bit, at the Marion Cultural Centre on Saturday August 1.

Here's some info:

Port Noarlunga Arts Centre: Old Institute Building
Gawler Street, Port Noarlunga
South Australia 5167
Phone 08-8326 5577

Marion Cultural Centre
287 Diagonal Rd Oaklands Pk
Box Office: 09 8375 6855

PS: Rohan's has had some hairs cut..... lots of 'em!

Oh... and here's a sample of what you might hear - if you listen very closely to the sound of something moving past your window in the wind... the wry delusive flutterby of lurve.... Walking The LIne: