BLACK - the Lighter Side of Johnny Cash and Blues Avenue storm the stages this weekend.

On Saturday, August 8, BLACK - The Lighter Side of Johnny Cash gets close to home when it rumbles onto stage of the Star Theatre, Hilton. Bookings and enquiries: Star Theatres, 145 Sir Donald Bradman Drive, Hilton, SA.  Phone 08 8234 1800

BLACK  is a live music cabaret show - have I told you this before? well pay attention so I won't have to tell you again -  that tells a little of the life and career of Johnny Cash, delving into the darkness that motivated his addictions and rages, nearly driving him to suicide, and his journey towards the light with June Carter. It's really great. Music and singing and everything. You'll love it - and it's not country music at all, you know.. Johnny Cash did some real popular songs like... like...well, you know The Summer of 69? Yeah, well he didn't do any like that. But they were good songs. Real good. Yeah. Nah. And you should see the stars, the Rohan fellow that looks like that bloke that looks like Kevin Costner and the girl singer, well, she looks like that girl who looks like Amber Poulton, you know the one from that other show about the ...etc etc, blah blah natter natter.

We leave Rhiannon and Nikki to discuss the artistic merits of the theatrical event known as BLACK - The Lighter Side of Johnny Cash and move on to Sunday, August the next day. First we have sweet RnB and blues/roots music at the Wine Underground in Pirie Street at the LIVE Music Sunday Session with The Adam Waldron Trio - quite highbrow stuff, you know. Runs or walks briskly from 4pm til 8pm with $5 entry.

 And speaking about 'close enough'...  you'll be close enough to making a mess in your gussets when you hear Blues Avenue swinging the Blues at the Grace Emily Hotel, Sunday night, August 9. That's correct- right after you've had your Sunday tea and thinking about sittin' down and doin' your homework for the test on Monday, all of a sudden you've got something better to do! Get out to the Grace and see James Sweet Baby Meston and Denis The Preacher Surmon swinging and hollering and twisting and stomping like there was a mess of spiders on the floor. And crawling up their legs. And biting them on the scrotums.  ARRRRRGH. OW OW OW. Yippee ky-fukken'- yoodle - Get'em orf! Get 'em orf. AAAIIIEEEEEEEE!

It's ok. They's gone.

Oh No! Now they're in my hair - help  me; HELP ME!  They're laying eggs in my hair!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHIEEEEEGHAAAAAHHHHGHGHG! Oh God oh god  oh god;  get 'em orf me. Whimper, snivel, scratch scratch. Call an ambulance!!

Later at the hospital.

"Jeez, Ted. I don't know why these young people do it to themselves. It's just fukken' tragic. Look at the state of this pair!"

"I Know Jeff. Breaks your heart; bein' a parent an' all... but... what can you do? You can tell 'em till you're blue in the fukken' face but they just don't fukken' listen. They just go right out and ... "sob" ... start dancin' to that filthy fukken' sexy swing music that fukken' Blues Avenue plays. CURSE YOU Blues Avenue.  Curse your evil stomp box and that full-bodied double bass and that snaky twangy guitar to Kingdom Fukken' Come!"

"Excuse me sir... would you mind keeping it down a bit... I have an emergency patiernt over here with a chihuahua stuck up his arse and you are making the dog so nervous it's nipping the poor buggers piles!"

"Oh. Sorry Sister."