Holy swiss cheese, the puns are weak as Victorian beer but... as long as you're here everything is ok. Now, first up is this item:    Dutch Tilders is commonly referred to as the Grandfather of Australian Blues Music. This year, he is celebrating 50 years as Australia’s best known Blues Musician. Dutch is an internationally acclaimed Blues singer and guitarist, and tonight, Thursday 27th August, The Wine Underground is indeed fortunate to have Dutch perform from 8.00 pm til late.
Its a paltry $10 entrance, so Come and Enjoy a superb glass of Wine or a cold Coopers and sit back, relax and absorb the wonderful Blues experience of Dutch Tilders.

Hey... wasn't that a nicely written piece? That's because I didn't do it. If I'd of done it I would of put 'fukken' in there somewhere. I think I have Tourette's fukken syndrome. It's fukken troo, you cnuts!

The next item on the agenda is office coffee. I don't mind people having un-regulated coffee breaks but for fuck's sake replace the coffee if it runs out. From now on, this fukken instant, we start a coffee club to cover the costs of decent coffee and milk. It's a 5 dollar ante each week. If you don't have cash use fukken paypal.

The next item on the agenda: Graffitti in the toilet. If I write something on the dunny walls I want it there for a reason; if I catch the cnut what rubbed out my drawing of rampant wedding tackle frolicking about in a furry kayak I'll pine-o-fukken-clean their face with a pot scourer and shove it up their rusty sheriff's star with a mop handle.

Now... the last item on the agenda: pan!c the Three Piece will be playing at the Daniel O'Connell Hotel in North Adelaide on Saturday August 29nd. pan!c, as you all know from last week's meeting, did a great job up in the watercolour Painted Desert for the Variety Club Bush Bash and are back at their regular work in the entertainment and piss-swilling sector of Adelaide's commerce and trade. So, I want to see all of you there rocking out with your gender identifying wobbly bits out. All of you! It's business and any absentees will be docked the relevant amount in hours.

Now get back to fukken work.

Hang on... this just came i: "And don’t forget....each Sunday arvo The Wine Underground presents the best in Blues Music that Adelaide can provide."  Christ... who writes these fukken memos? Can't they make them more interesting?

Anyway... Off you go, now. All of you. Just a moment, Mary... I'll need to check over those... er.... anomailies in your software and I have a little issue with my .. ahem ...hard drive that needs working on. Ill see you  in the storage cupboard in five minutes.