Wingnut
Wednesday, 11 June 2008

PreviewWingNut

The office dog, WingNut, has an eclectic taste in music. By 'eclectic' we don't mean high-minded; we mean a taste for the less salubrious musical genres. Low-end stuff stuff that decent people would not normally tolerate unless they were dead.

He digs it up from everywhere. And we do mean digs! He has found some song parody demos (a description applied because of the recording quality of the stuff) made by a band called The Towboys (I think their real name was Mad Dog and the Towboys) sometime in the mid-80s. Anyway, the “songs” were found as an unsorted, undated and un-titled bunch of cassette tapes in degrading condition from which we are trying to recover listenable versions of the ones that aren't too bizarre. As they emerge from the computer we will stick them up here.

But we will also use this page to infect the unwary and unprotected with other trivial and trashy bits of 'music' that WingNut seems to find amusing. We are not absolutely sure that he finds them 'amusing'. What do you call it when a dog drags its arse along the carpet and shits on the floor when he hears certain songs or sounds? I suppose that's kind of amusing, isn't it?

New Stuff - MAD Abbott

Not much to say with blog-shite, really. The song says it all:  Mad Abbott:

 

 

The Towboys' disinterred turds

Two new postings from the Tow Boys. This shocker  was taken from a cassettes tape that, in my estimation, is 25 years old. A couple of glitches don’t interfere with the shit reproduction and awful singing; it’s a parody of Madonna’s Like Virgin and features the Parkerella on various obscene background noises. Like an Old Moll:

This next item - a parody of Elton John's Daniel - was almost past it; we couldn't remove some of the louder clicks or alter the balance of the sound effects and eventually gave up trying to polish a turd. And it is pretty shite but may be worth a listen.

New Stuff, sort of....

Wingnut has been digging in the rubbish dump recently and has some things to show you. He's been getting out a bit since he had a tail transplant. What? Didn't you know? His tail was docked at birth and it was never a problem till some old bag up in North Adelaide chewed my arse about tail docking cruelty and all that so we simply got him a tail transplant. Cost a fukkin' packet and we had to chop a tail off some other hound but at least Wingnut's got his ringpiece duster back. And one old battle-axe has to bite her tongue when he's out pissing on their rosemary hedges with his new tail in the air.  Anyway, here's what he found in the dump; it's a stinky little thing about Slimy and Garfinkel:

Then there was this other thing he overheard while he was rolling in the putrid carcase of a dead blue-tongue lizard at the golf course: Local impressario Ivan Tanner was playing golf with one of the guys from The Angels -  John Brewster Jones I reckon it was - when he overheard this snappy repartee tossed around over some particularly difficult golf hits with a noblick or something. Ivan says, when Brewster asked his advice on the 9th tee, he says, he says... "Hmmm  “Take a Long Line “”.
And then, when Brewster Jones sunk a 20 foot putt on the 13th green, Tanner tops that by spitting out: ””No way, get fucked , fuck off “ to which Brewster replied ""No secrets" to it, Stretch,  it's just talent!" or something like that.

Now... I know what you're thinking, but... Wingnut wouldn't lie. Well, yes. He does. He tells some fukkin' shockers. But you must agree, as a lame intro to re-posting this sad parody (below) of a classic Angels tune, it's up there with "And now here's the world's greatest talk show host - Rove."

 THE TOWBOYS

Mad Dogs and Towboys was the proper name. Started with Jeff Martin and Rod Parker, soon added Denis Surmon on bass (Dr Dan Potato), then came Paul (Fish) Fisher on guitar, Jeff left and was replaced by Polly (the Spic) Polites. Fish left later to do a recording project and Mark Rivett took over guitar duties. Billed as The Worst Band In The World, the Towboys tried hard to live up to their reputation. Nothing was sacred, no song, no artist, no media personality or news item. Some of it was funny, some of it was hilarious, even more of it was downright stupid. But it was more fun than sticking your finger up a bi-polar bear's arse.

                    

Above: Dr Dan Potato                            Above: Polly The Spic                      Above: The Parkerella

The towboys didn't actually properly record any of their parodies, the only surviving recorded evidence apart from enectdotal, is some demo tapes made to get some of the songs started. The tapes were made on various two and four -track cassette recorders and were set aside and forgotten since some time in the mid-eighties. Finding them was a bit like discovering a dried up dog turd under the bed.

The Towboys Tapes: These items needed a bit of work - some of them, a lot. The first of these horrors was lifted from a casette that was overloaded in one channel and had some bad glitches that required edits (thanks to Sound Forge and Audacity!). This is the best we could do; it is a parody of a Roxy Music song, Avalon.

This next track is brutally unkind to Christopher Cross (and why not, the whingeing sop) while being a model of peurile parody.  The item was in a dreadful state and was made listenable after some drastic EQ 

 If you can recall that wonderful, caramel-voiced singer from the 70's - Kamahl - you will find this is a pisstake on one of his better known songs, The Sounds of Goodbye: 

The old egomaniac Sting gets one here about his creepy I'll Be Watching You moaner:

And some old country song gets a serve, as well: 

And Minnie Rip-one-off: 

And when it comes to peurile, it would be hard to beat this one:

More WINGNUT

These next items are by nobody you would want to know so we will attribute them to WingNut. The first is a parody of The Gambler, that old country groaner by Kenny sings-through-a-cheese-grater Rogers.

WIngNut - the Butler:

Another WingNut item, this time a belated warning about the purchase of T3 shares delivered via a classic Angels rock tune, Am I ever gonna see your face again.

WingNut -

Wingnut got involved in politics - this is his part in the downfall of the ludicrous Johnny Howard:

Lift the system a bit to hear this one clearly: 

 WingNut Walks The Line

WingNut pulled out all the stops to do his own tribute to Johnny Cash - the Man in Black - all by hisself.  And what he thinks is really good about it is that is is nothing more than an elongated poo joke.

 Mad Dogs and Towboys Photo Archive.

Not much to look at, these images were lifted off a black and white 35mm proof sheet. But it's all I have until someone elese offers us any photos in better condition.

      

ABOVE: Mark Rivett is Marcus Bluto

    

Above: The Preacher (Dr Dan Potato) and Rod Parker (The Parkerella) do "Clancy and Duncan"

 

  

 
Above: The Parkerella

 

 

Saving the best for last, ABOVE: Ian Polly Politis - The Spic- as Polly-anus