Yay - it's semaphore festival time. Wheee!
Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Now…. what do we have for you this week…. ???

Sample ImageFriday arvo we have Blues Avenue Duo at Regattas, up there behind the Convention Centre. A nice place to get a bit lubricated after a week of tipping sump oil on the greasy pole beneath you.  And what could be better than spending time at Regattas ignoring the two musicians sweating and slaving over their hot, steaming sousaphones and maracas. Drop in at 5.30 and start talking loudly.



Sample ImagePan!c is back on the treadmill, too, with a private gig at the Adelaide Hockle Club…. I mean HOCKEY club… to get the ball rolling for the summer season. Watch these pages - but keep your eyes on the road as well - for notification of panic’s return to the Daniel O’Connell Hotel, North Adelaide, soon.







Sample ImageSaturday September 29 and the Semaphore Festival gets under way. The Dunstans will give air to their quirky retro pop at the Semaphore hotel, proudly assisted by Fluffy and some other fukkers in a program that runs… well, trots along …  between 9 pm and 2 am.


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Sample ImageSunday September 30 Amber Joy Poulton and the Holy Men will joining the line-up at the foreskin… sorry, FORESHORE, at Semaphore for a set at 2 pm.  Come along and say hello but don’t say hello to me because I couldn’t give a rat’s arse to meet anyone else; my electronic address book is full and I’m not adding any more meatybytes to it.

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Sample ImageThe Semaphore Workers Club has a busy weekend with the Semaphore Festival. Check the program for the program. Go here: http://www.semaphoremusicfestival.com/sema_programf.htm




Sample ImageThe Wheatie: Go here:  http://www.wheatsheafhotel.com.au/gigs





Sample ImageGet in for a lick of Cream, Tribute to the British masters of UK Blues, The Gov,  Thursday October 18. Go here: http://admin.moshtix.com.au/event.aspx?id=58846&caller=CAL&noadd=true&skin=






Sample ImageBackwater Blues:  Get tickets and get into it. Don’t miss the updated, uplifted, up-whatevere’d SA Blues Awards at the Queens Theatre Sunday October . Go Here:  http://www.backwaterbluesfest.com/home/?page_id=21






Sample ImageGuthries: Friday evening, September 28th, Guthries presents "Vardos" - 3 women from Melbourne named who play authentic Gypsy music. Their music has taken them around Australia and the world and has been included on several film soundtracks. For more information about Vardos  go to: http://www.vardos.com.au/
Vardos plays from 8pm, doors open 7.30pm  $18 Adults, $15 Concession, $14 Folk Fed members 





Join master drummer Bortier Okoe for a once-in-a-life-time Ghanaian experience. Open your heart and immerse yourself in rich and vibrant culture on a four-week intensive cultural tour. You will live in the town of Nungua amongst the community, learn the traditional rhythms, songs and dances and develop your skills under the guidance of Bortier and local drum and dance masters.


Sample ImageBortier’s family will welcome you, share their culture, and cook for you their traditional and delicious food. Take part in live performances specially arranged for you, be entertained by renowned performers, learn to cook favourite Ghanaian food, witness traditional ceremonies, take part in weekend excursions and end your tour with a spectacular performance, showcasing your new skills for the whole community.

Though everyone’s experience will be unique, feeling the rhythm of Ghanaian life and the joy of people around you is something everyone can experience on the Telema Tour.


For more info visit: www.africansoul.com.au

Tour to Ghana West Africa: www.telematour.blogspot.com

Or call 0413953855





Sample ImageCheck out this mob - Sleepless. New EP from this excellent local band, great indi music release and pretty good back cataloge as well. Go here for more: http://www.sleepless.com.au






‘Pumpin’’ Paul Hay and Jan Preston present:  Boogie Woogie Down Under House Party

 Sample ImageOn Saturday the 6th October on the grand piano at the home of Andre and Susan Skujins, Australia’s Queen of Boogie Woogie, Jan Preston will pay tribute, along with special guest, Paul ‘pumpin piano’ Hay, to some of the great blues players of the last 60 years as well as remind everyone that the tradition is still a vibrant and active part of the blues world.

When : Saturday October 6th 2012

Where : Jikara Drive – Glen Osmond

Ticket Price : $20 advance or $30 at door

Phone for Bookings  - limited places available. Boogie Woogie Down Under House is a Variety Club initiative by Susan and Andre Skujins





Sample ImageWombat Man and the Search for Water.

 A dire emergency has overtaken the squatters in the unfinished pile of stones (crafted in the so-called Greek Revival design that apparently prohibits builders from putting a proper lid on anything) -  on North terrace.

“Wattle we do?” cried the Invisible Man in the Lower House.

“Let’s sell something on the sly,” suggested The Conman.

“We’ve sold everything except your arse and we couldn’t give that away, Lord knows we tried. Selling something won’t help us. We’ve no choice but to summon a superhero who will work for fuk-all to save us in our hours or weeks of need.”

“Who is that stupid…Well…. I mean: stupider than the rest of the population?”

“We need to get Wombat Man!”

“Wombat Man!!...??”

“Yes, Wombat man; he eats, roots and leaves, eventually. But he’s the only Super-hero we have. And he’s thick enough to save us for fuk-all. But we’ll have to wait….”

“Why?  Do we have to wait until gets dark enough to project the Wombat Man logo against the clouds so that he can see it and come a-running?”

“Nuh. Wait till his flat-mate answers his phone. Wombat Man just lets it ring out but it drives his mate nuts so he eventually picks it up. Here we go. Shouldn’t take more than an hour or so to get him here.”

So, Wombat man is summoned to Parliamant House on a desperate mission.

“Christ! What the hell took you so long to get here? It’s more than 3 hours since we called.”

“Keep yer fukken two-hundred dollar shirt on, you oxygen-thief. I was busy scuttling the Pooch-Wash sheila.  Yeah, I know… But I can’t help meself; the doggy smell makes me hormones dribble. Now what the fuk do you parasites want.”

“That’s no way to speak to us! Do you know who we are?”

“I thought it was your job to know that and I wouldn’t waste my energy guessing. Why don’t dig in your wallets for your drivers’ licences and find out for yourselves. Now, If that’s all you wanted I’ve got a bitch in heat that needs finishing off….”

“Don’t go! We don’t have any nice clean water to drink. We’re all out; dry!”

“So what? Just turn on the tap.”

“That’s the problem - the tap water has dried up because the Murray River has dried up.”

“I thought you were saving the Murray River…”

“Well, we were saving it…  for ourselves but…it’s gorne!”

“Why do you need the Murray River for a drink. Don’t you recycle all your dunny water to drink like you want the rest of us to do…?”

“We’re not like the rest of you. We only drink clean, new water. Can you find our water for us.”

“You’re kidding me, aren’t you…?”

“Well…. We’ll pay you, of courses…. If you know how to apply for a grant.”

“That ’ud be harder than tinplate origami. Stick your grant money up yer dates; just let me have a crack at the Filly Gogo instead. Something about her gets my back legs twitching. There’s a bit of racehorse in her, isn’t there? Eh??? She looks a bit horsey, duddn’t she? She’d make a pretty good fist of Morphettville on a Sat'd'y arvo, wouldn’t she? Eh???  I got a nurge to saddle her up… I'd like to see how she’d perform with a bit of wombat in 'er, eh?? So, you can put in the good word for me with her. That ‘ud do nicely, eh???”

“I say, that’s a bit off. She’s a married minister woman person!”

“Good-oh. I won’t have to break ‘er in. Just promise to put in the good word for me and I’ll find yer water.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr Wombat Man.”

“I’ve heard it called many names by many satisfied sheilas, mate, but that’s’ a new one. Now… Is it a deal?”

“Yes. It’s a deal.”

“Ok. Don’t go away, I won’t be a minute. Just talk amongst yourselves; insult each other or sell off a school playground; I’ll be right back.”

“He’s a bit over-confident, isn’t he? I’ve a good mind not to speak to Ms Gogo about him, at all.”

Inside a minute Wombat Man swings back into the Chamber and flings a T-shirt in the face of The Invisible Man.

“There’s your water, you dunce!”

“What’s this…??” sputtered the State’s Chief Tourist, peeling the t-shirt off his dial. “Is this your idea of a joke?”

“Fuk no; I tell funnier ones than that. I thought it was YOUR idea of a joke.”

“What do you mean…”

“Read it…”

The Premier opens the shirt and reads: ‘save the murray’.

“Now read the label…”

“ ‘Made in china.’”

“Yep, there’s your water. You just have to buy it back from China. And I see you’ve already started, judging by the pile of these fukken cotton t-shirts in the gift shop. Getting in before the water gets any dearer to import, eh?? Good idea.  Job done; now, where’s Filly Gogo, I’m getting a bit toey. Hey… just between you and me, is it true that she’s got a fat little Brussels Sprout in her ladygarden…?”