May I tell you where to go for great music in Adelaide???
Monday, 13 May 2013

Sample ImageSaturday May 18 Sweet Baby James and Rob Eyers at the Prince Albert Hotel… I was a bit surprised as I always thought the Prince Albert was a bolt through the knob but… it can also be a pub, I believe. Anyway... James and Rob present the best voodoo blues in town so get on down to the Knob Bolt Hotel.Sorry... Prince Albert Hotel, 254 Wright Street, Adelaide, SA, 5000.  08 8212 7912

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageFriday, 17 May:  DANCE, DANCE, DANCE with Lucky 7, The Lincolns, Shades of Blue and DJ Christine 'Orange' Blossom

Come down to The Gov tonight and dance the night away with the hottest, swinging bands in town: Lucky 7, The Lincolns, Shades of Blue and DJ Christine 'Orange' Blossom! Head on in early for dinner, to fuel your dance moves.

http://admin.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/dance-dance-dance-with-lucky-7-the-lincolns-shades-of-blue-and-dj-christine/64905?&caller=CAL&noadd=true&skin=

 

Sample ImageThe Gov, Saturday, 18 May: Dragon 40th Anniversary Tour with Special Guests

The legendary band Dragon is back fronted by revered Kiwi singer Mark Williams. This band rocks its way through a long list of iconic songs that are part of the national estate.

Go here: http://admin.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/dragon-40th-anniversary-tour-with-special-guests/61934?&caller=CAL&noadd=true&skin=

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageFor gigs at the Wheatie, go here:http://www.wheatsheafhotel.com.au/gigs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageFor Guthrie’s go to: http://www.folkfederation.com/

 

 

 

 

Looking Ahead

 

Sample ImageJohn Schumann and the Vagabond Crew will be packing their trunks for a Queensland Country Tour, May 22-27

That's Queensland over there (pic left) with Shooey and the Vagabaond Crew standing in front of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageTheTexettes lunchtime show on Thursday May 30 at the... SoundWaves event,  Prospect Town Hall

 

 I didn't think the colour would hold when I cut and pasted the words but ... there's another thing I've learned; that and the bit about the Prince Albert being a pub as well as knob bling.

 

 

Sample ImageRob Scott and Big Smoke are playing at The Exeter Rundle Street on the the 30th May from 9pm. 3 sets of original songs, including a fair smattering of Blues/Funk numbers from the forthcoming CD 'Disgraceland'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FSample Imageriday, 31st May, Amber Joy Poulton & The Holy Men will be putting on a night of Country Music at the Railroad Country Music Club (West Beach). Come along and enjoy the songs you know and get a sneak peak at a few of my newies. Bookings are coming through thick and fast now, so don't miss out. Credit card facilities available, only $20. For info go here: http://www.facebook.com/amberjoypoulton

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageThe 25TH. ANNIVERSARY YEAR.

It’s time for the fans to gather at an old favourite venue, The Aussie Inn. Friday, 31st. May, 8.30 - 12 PM. The Hoy-Hoy! line-up of awesome Trapper on drums, and Frank Lang on bass and vocals, make this gig a priority.

 

 

 

 

Sample ImageGet ready for the Queen’s Birthday long weekend in June. The Grouse return to Maxwells on Sunday June 9, and pan!c pick up the baton for Monday June 10.  Sample Image

This year the Saturday event at Maxwells features Russell Morris.

For more information, read:http://maxwellwines.com.au/media/docs/Sea%20&%20Vines%20-%20WEB_1.pdf

 

 

 

 

Sherluck Fukken Holmes and the Cubicle of Doom.

Holmes is ensconced in his den on the second floor of 22A baker Street, his noble head framed by an eerie blue glow.

“Watson....  though I know many things, like, for example, who will shoot John F. Kennedy, I confess that I did not know there are hundreds of love-hungry females in my suburb that are waiting to have intercourse with me! I am astonished at this as I know this area fairly well and it comprises mainly 9-5 businesses. So, I deduce that some or many of the shopkeepers and business owners are ladyboys... or boygirls whom I prefer to call boyles.”

“Holmes, Old Man;  it's just an advertisement on Victorian Visage-Libre. I think you can safely ignore it.”

“If you say so, Watson, you being the man of the world, but I am somewhat disappointed nevertheless to pass up such a robust opportunity to meet a nice young lady and have verbal and various intercourses with her. However... I have here, Watson, on this telegram, an opportunity for adventure that we must not ignore. The Queen has been invited to the opening of a zipper fly at the Regents Park public toilets and we have been summoned to provide discrete chaperone duties.”

"I say, Holmes! Why in heaven’s name are we required at such a high-falutin’ social occasion?”

“My Dear Watson, I believe Her Royal Big-Arsed Majesty fears interference in the proceedings by the devilish Professor Moriarty who is opposed to public toilets, believing that one should do one’s monthly turd in one’s own earth closet, and not be leaving it in a park gazebo for some second party to dispose of – at the public’s expense! But, enough blether, Watson; we are urgently required by Lard-Arse Vicky so, bring your medical kitbag - especially your tweezers and our best Macintoshes!”

“I say! Pretty poor weather out there, eh, Holmes?”

“Watson, you fukking pull-through – It’s industrial revolution era London; the weather is always shit! But that is not the reason for the singular accoutrements. You see, in the event that, once the zipper is opened, a pubic hair is caught stretched across the hog’s eye in the bell-end therein and on its way thereout, you must quickly remove it with the tweezers to prevent the splitting of the stream. Any delay could be messy, hence the Macintoshes, as one may be showered by two golden rivulets of unpredictable direction.”

“I say, Holmes….”

“Yes, Watson. So you fukken sed. And if you say it again I will kick you in the nadbag.  Now….away to Regent’s Park, Watson; the game is 30.48 centimetres!!!”

At the Regent’s Park Public Lav.

“On Behalf of me, Queen Victoria, I now declare this Zipper open…. Oh, My Gawd. What is that ‘orrible smell comin’ frum over theyuh in the lavs???”

“I knew it, Watson. It’s an arse-assination attempt by Proferssor Moriarty! He has dropped a ham grenade in one of the dunnies in the bank of cubicles and it’s fukken putrid. Deadly!!!! It’s like a gangrenous pig crawled up his arse and died in its’ own shit and then he shat it out… with his own foul dung!!!!!!  Everybody out now or die by chundering up your ringpieces!!!!”

“Holmes,” shouted Watson as the crowd surged towards the turnstiles. “I see a shadow wearing a mortar-board hat fleeing in the darkness!”

“Good work, Watson. It’s Professor Moriarty! We have surprised and routed him from the cubicle of doom!”

“He’s headed towards the catering tent, Holmes. Shall I shoot him with my revolver?”

“No, Watson. I’m going to try out this little device on him. Watch out!”

SPOING! Sssssssssssssssst. Glip. ZZZZZZZZ**ZZZZZ**ZZZZ***ZZZZZA**AAAAA*AAAA*AAAA*AAA*ST*TS*ST*TS*ST!! “AARRRRRRGGGHIEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGHUGHGHIGHGH-Thbdbdbdbdbdbdbdb. Sighhhhhhhhhhh.”

My word, Holmes. Did you just strike him with bottled lightning?”

“Sort of. It’s a stun gun I got off eBay and I have modified it to be charged up with a Helmholtz Generator. Packs a punch, eh? Turns the muscles to liquid;  makes everything let go. Look at the bulging seat of his duds, Old Man; in there is the last shit he’ll ever do.”

“I say, Holmes. You’ve fried the fukker. Was that really necessary?”

“Watson, you kind-hearted old fool; take a look at the middle finger of his right hand.”

“I say... it’s all…”

Yes, Watson – brown. In his haste to leave the dunny he wiped too furiously and poked straight through the cheap council date roll and he has ended up with Kamahl’s finger. So, when I saw that, and realised he was headed to the catering tent I knew he had to be stopped to avert a terrifying disaster. Can you imagine the havoc that would have been wrought if he had shoved that finger in the blue Smarties bowl? The Queen herself had dibs on them blue Smarties and she would have been struck down with the worst case of the Brad Pitts ever to blight a dimpled-dated Monarch in this era!”

“I say, Holmes….”

“I warned you, Watson…..”

PUNT!

“OOoooooohhhhh!  Groooaaannnnnghh!"

"Sorry, Old Man, but a promise is a promise. Now let me rub your poor little nadbag and then we'll go home and have a nice mug of hot cocoa and a fukken BIG snootful of drugs.”