Things are getting Red Hot this week...
Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Cruisin’ Country 3 was a hoot! Give me more and I will love it even more. I walked to every gig, and home again.  But we have a pretty good week ahead here on shore:


Sample ImageHEAT 4 - Last round of the Blues Heats at the Gov. front bar this Thursday evening. Here's the line-up.


·         CRAIG ATKINS

·         LUCAS and BAZ

·         SAND RELICS 

Band category:-

·         BLACK ASPIRIN                         



 Make your presence felt and hear some great music at the Gov for the  Blues Heats.



Sample ImageAnd here's a warm tip for blues dancers and swingers - the Red Hot Blues Band will be burning up the Whitmore Hotel on Friday October 25. Featuring the fiery talents of David leather-lips Blight on harmonicas, Sweet Baby James Meston of guitars and vox, Robert gor-blimey Eyers on drums and gags and Denis the preacher Surmon on bass and vocals. FREE admission, stomping blues and plenty good times Friday night at the Whitty with the Red hot Blues Band.






The Satellites, the Wheatsheaf Hotel, Friday October 25. The Satellites’ musical influences stem from all forms of roots music including Country, Rhythm & Blues, Jazz, Swing, Western Swing, Rock n’ Roll, and of course Rockabilly adding their own unique flavour to come up with the Sample Imagerockin’est combo Adelaide has seen in years. The Satellites live act is a show in its own right. Their performance is exceptional, with stage antics & an exuberant spontaneity that makes their live shows an unforgettable experience.

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Sample ImageSunday arvo at  The Gov. and the beggars present a special treat for lovers of country, roots and folk music on Sunday afternoon October 27. At 3 pm, the Texettes kick off a mighty double-bill with the Beggars. This will be a feast of rootsy country music and soaring harmonies and other good stuff. And beer drinking. These bands are building international followings and this is a top opportunity to see them both.

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Sunday October 27, from 4:30 PM - Fundraiser at the Palais, Semaphore.

Concert for Brandon – dig deep while enjoying some cracking music.


At The Palais, Semaphoreacross the road from the Semaphore Workers Club – the Home of Blues and Roots music in South Australia.



Sample ImageTsunami Steve and Surfing With Scissors are back for the summer season at The Gaslight Bar, Brompton, last Sunday of every month throughout summer! And it all gets under way Sunday 27 October! That's right!! Sunday 27 October is your first opportunity this summer to enjoy the twangin', reverbin' mayhem that typifies a Surfin With Scissors gig! There will be special guests old and new, cheap snack meals, crazy low $5 admission and more!!!

Here's the link to the Surfing with Scissors facebook 'Event' page if you can be fucked looking at it!





Sample ImageMUTU VUDU and the JUMP DADDIES, Sunday October 27th at the Semaphore Workers Club…..

Blues infused r&b and funked up soul.  MutuVudu is a soul/blues infused 5 piece exposition whose sound is powered and grounded in roots music. Bold and sassy to the max, Mutu Vudu bring something old, something new to the Adelaide music scene, fervent soul and bosom blues.  Join the irrepressible Lara Mutu and her Mutu brothers Steve Smith, Frank Lang, Jesse Dean Freeman and Mick Garcia for a night of Raphael saadiq, Rosco Gordon, Bob Marley, Candye Kane and mulled wine. To round out this event the Jump Daddies will for the first time in a while, set the room a jumpin’ so don’t be the one to say you heard about it , be there or be square daddyo. Semaphore Workers Club, Semaphore - 5-8 pm



When I was a pirate on the seven seas there weren’t that many; there was only about three or four, I recall. There might have been more up on the high seas but my boat couldn’t get up there and the handbrake wasn’t good enough to hold the old tub if we got stuck halfway up.

But I didn’t care; I was happy as a pig in shit being a pirate in the low seas. My favourite bit of being a pirate was being an arsehole, a job in which I started well and expanded to overfill the position. For example, the toilet was a dunny seat set on a couple of rails that stuck out over the gunnels. You simply pulled down your duds, sat on the seat and pushed out with your legs so you wouldn’t poo down the side of the ship. Now, when no one was looking I would sneak out and swipe the cover on the date roll dispenser so the bog roll would get all wet and soggy. Then I'd watch as each sailor tried to wipe his arse and got Kamal's finger. Boy, did they bleat about that - the sissies. Made me fukken laugh, though, especially as I had me own designer dunny built into my cabin for my own personal use.

I loved going out to sea. I’d put on all me pirate clobber and swing me cutlass around dangerously, taking great slices out of the ozone-infested air.

"Avast, ye fukken swabs," I’d roar, "... and weigh the fukken anchor!"

"Sixteen stone, seven pound and six ounces, Capn!"

"Holy firkin halibuts!!!! That thing will sink straight to the fukken bottom of the ocean.  Put it on a diet immediately. Hoy, you - Bosun...."

"Aye, Capn..."

"Run up the mainsail; and, while you've got the Husqvana out you can run up a new pair of britches for me - I’ve autographed the gusset of me good pair with the smelly texta… Righty-ho, let’s get rolling. Stick ‘er in first, let in the clutch and kick ‘er in the guts! Master Bates - take her out into the Gulf stream. What’s eating you, Mr Bates?"

"Schooner one and a half leagues off the starboard bow."

"Oh aye... and what brand is she?”

"British, Capn, Sir.”

"Semaphore them to scuttle themselves, Bates.  I wouldn’t cross a stream of piss for a schooner of British. But call me when they're turning up in pints or barrels. Speaking of that... whose turn is it in the barrel today?”

"Snaggletooth McGhee, sir."

"Cripes! Scrub my name off the slate and send the cabin boy to my rooms in five minutes!  Midshipman Ima Numpty... what the fuk are you doin' comin' out of the fukken hold with that fukken pick and fukken shovel?"

"Arrrhgh. I just buried our treasure, Capn."

“Oh...? And just where did you manage to do that down there?”

"Somewhere them other pirate buggers will never think to look, sir ...  roight underneath the ship!”

“Zounds….!!!” I uttered as me eyebrows rose sharply towards the brim of me pirate chapeau. “And did you notice anything unusual while you were doing this clever thing, Mr Numpty?”

" Aye, Capn; some rising damp, sir.”


“Well, a little more than ‘some’, sir.  ‘Tis filling the buryin’ hole nicely.”

“Double Zounds! Master Bates… the bailing cans are in the galley and If you need me I’ll be in the rubber duckie on me way to Fiji. Yo fukken Ho and Toodle-ooo, you poxy donut threaders. Say hello to David Jones for me!”


I miss being a pirate. I'm still an arsehole, but it was so much more fun dressed up like one, too.